Judge — September 29, 1894 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

198 REVEREND MOAKLEY MCKOON ON MISSIONS. oe HEN we see de advance in science, when we view de growf ob civilization, when we con- JUDGE A PARADOX, THOUGH we boast of modern progress as aloft we proudly soar, ‘Above untutored cannibals whose habits we deplore, Yet in our daily papers any day you chance to look You may find this advertisement; ** Wanted—A girl to cool twa GoLDsMIT# Momers, IN BOSTON, Ethel — Hasn't he a lot of cheek, mamma ?” Mamma —* Don't say ‘ cheek,’ my dear ; say ‘facial area." A FIN-DE-SIECLE GARMENT. sur sealskin sacque is the finest | have ever seen.” “Well, it ought to be; it was made from one of the educated seals.” template de rise ob intelligence, when We gaze on de spread ob education an’ bear in mind dat dese same heathens has barbecued an’ eaten a score ob missionaries in de las’ fifty. years, do we wonder at de’ results 2” “What dat got to do wid it?" asked Deacon Drinkwater with a sneer “Wh ady diet on religious pussons has yo’ obtoose parrallogram. de si at las’ affected de morals ob de heathen Yo! will please put some wood in de stove an’ den call class-meet ROOF GARDEN! se! peareruabe, WHICH? W UAT a sad look this moment crossed ‘That woman's face with dread ! I wonder has she loved and lost — Or has she loved and wed? MRS. JACK L HID! Mrs, Jack L. (eleven o'clock, a.m.) -* Dear Mrs, Diamond! Delighted to see you. Take off your things this minuce. So glad Jack picked you up!" drs, Hide-—(* What under heaven shall 1 yive her for dinner? A whole crate of berries to do up and Bridget washing. I could kill Jack.) Mrs. Jack 1., (twelve-thirty, p.m.) —" Ob, yes; always like this, I assure you. My husband is welcome to bring his friends to dinner at any time. Well-trained servants are such a luxu Mrs, Hide —(" Wow N've rushed! Got Mrs. Goodsole next door to lend me her w bribed Bridyet to leave the washing and do errands while I got the dinner. Mrs. Jack 1. (wo thirty, p.m.) —" Now, don’t be ina hurry. visit together, you know, and I wa Mrs. Hide —(" Mercy ! she AND MRS. KOOK-GARDEN IN AFRICA. ess and I'm half dead.”) It is so long since we had a good t to hear about all of our old friends.” its down again. How hot it is! And that Jack sound asleep in the library and leaving her all to me.) Mrs. Jack L. (four 0’ clock, p. m) —"Yes, dear ; now come again and stay all day. Any time will be con- venient for us, of course. could bless Jack for bringing you up. Good-bye.” Mrs, Hide —(" You're a fine one, Jack, to lug her up to dinner without one word of warning and then sneak out of entertaining her. I'm half dead for a nap and I'm going upstairs I don’t want any supper. Thank good- ness—she's gone! heavens! those berries you——No wonder he's s the door.”) 1. CHOLLY’S RETIREMENT, .ook here, young feller. 1 don’t like yer face an’ I'll just give ita swipe. See? — 1OXR L. Jones, THE LANGUAGE OF THE HANDS. DRAMATIS PERSONA — Mxssxs. Kosen- STEIN AND LiLieNDUFT. “ Fine day.” * How 's biz?" “TV failed; didn't “Ha-ha I" “Yes, but looks like in.” “Can't How's yours?" complain. “Vat?” “T alvays did say dot Rosenstein vos a loocky fellow.” V'S RETIREMENT. —— Well, bless me if I didn’t knock his head clear off !" comicbooks.com