Judge, 1894-09-15 · page 6 of 16
Judge — September 15, 1894 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"Then and Now"** (top right): A poem criticizing modern women's fashion and social behavior. It laments the shift from modest, emotionally responsive women wearing fitted dresses to contemporary women in loose, boxy "gowns" who affect emotional detachment. The satire targets modern slang ("so awfully swell," "functions" instead of "parties"), suggesting society has become superficial and inauthentic. **"The Umpire's Decision"** and **"So Appropriate!"**: Brief comic anecdotes—one about a calf, another about a parrot's funeral service conducted by its owner who "loved to hear him swear." **"Counted Out," "Poor Fellow," and "Count 'em!"**: These appear to be vignettes featuring working-class Irish characters (suggested by dialect like "Oi" for "I"), depicting physical comedy and street interactions, likely reflecting period ethnic stereotypes common in American humor publications. The page reflects Judge's focus on satirizing modern social pretensions alongside crude comedic scenarios.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THEN AND NOW. WE USED to wear soft-clinging dresses, Smooth-throated and womanly neat— But now we have “* gowns,” and their square-sails From shoulder to ear-jewels meet. We once felt a thrill of emotion When listening to sermon or song— Tut now 'tis "* bad form" to have feelings ; One's life at low tide must drift on. ‘There's nothing, now, modest and quiet, But blatant, electric and—well, ‘The phrase for ** the height of the fashion” Is to call it ‘*so awfully swell.” But the latest, most senseless misnomer Society's parrots let fall Is to speak of all gatherings as ** functions "— No longer a party or ball, Out, out on these times that are jointless Come back olden days for the new, Let hearts be once more in the fashion— Not *' swell” ones, but honest and true. ANNA STARBUCK JRNKS, THE UMPIRE’S DECISION. Mx. Burecker— Don't be afraid, little calfy ; I won't hurt you, won't, sonny !" SO APPROPRIATE! SOMRS. PATTER'S parrot died last week and they conducted a burial- serviet * Who officiated ?” “Mr. Patter. You know the parrot loved to hear him swear.” COUNTED OUT. Casey—"* Oi'll bet yez tin cints Oi kin ketch fifty av thim flois an th’ bar at wan lick.” Casey—"‘Are yez w: O'BRt ° Casey—' is. Phin here she goes !— Morir Cow—" You bet your buttermilk you POOR FELLOW! Tue rouice-juvce. ( fiercely) —"* Of what nationality are you ?* Prisoner—" Please, your honor, I am an American; but indeed 1 couldn't help —Count ‘em! comicbooks.com