Judge — September 15, 1894 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THEN AND NOW. WE USED to wear soft-clinging dresses, Smooth-throated and womanly neat— But now we have “* gowns,” and their square-sails From shoulder to ear-jewels meet. We once felt a thrill of emotion When listening to sermon or song— Tut now 'tis "* bad form" to have feelings ; One's life at low tide must drift on. ‘There's nothing, now, modest and quiet, But blatant, electric and—well, ‘The phrase for ** the height of the fashion” Is to call it ‘*so awfully swell.” But the latest, most senseless misnomer Society's parrots let fall Is to speak of all gatherings as ** functions "— No longer a party or ball, Out, out on these times that are jointless Come back olden days for the new, Let hearts be once more in the fashion— Not *' swell” ones, but honest and true. ANNA STARBUCK JRNKS, THE UMPIRE’S DECISION. Mx. Burecker— Don't be afraid, little calfy ; I won't hurt you, won't, sonny !" SO APPROPRIATE! SOMRS. PATTER'S parrot died last week and they conducted a burial- serviet * Who officiated ?” “Mr. Patter. You know the parrot loved to hear him swear.” COUNTED OUT. Casey—"* Oi'll bet yez tin cints Oi kin ketch fifty av thim flois an th’ bar at wan lick.” Casey—"‘Are yez w: O'BRt ° Casey—' is. Phin here she goes !— Morir Cow—" You bet your buttermilk you POOR FELLOW! Tue rouice-juvce. ( fiercely) —"* Of what nationality are you ?* Prisoner—" Please, your honor, I am an American; but indeed 1 couldn't help —Count ‘em! comicbooks.com