Judge — September 15, 1894 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE AN EVIDENT FACT. ++ PID yo" notice.” asked Deacon Wil- lis Hainkoop of the Kev. Horace Hoodoo, “dat Balaam didn’ see de speer- ut, but de ass did? How does yo’ ‘count fo’ dat?” “Dar ain’ nuffin’ remarkable in dat,” responded the dark oracle. “It’s jes’ de same nowadays — it's mos'ly de asses : whad sees de speeruts, Bettah jine a circle an’ see fo’ yo'self.” iit on Ninit why SOT i 3, 3 % PAN Rae Nim 1) COULD BE BUT ONE END. Oh yuu a Ti HE social philosopher was smoking a My eas cigar and meditating. Finally he looked up and asked, “ Why does a woman "—— MAmMa—'* Why, what's the matter, Tommy ?” “There is no known reason,” interrupted the cynic quickly. Tommy—" Boo:hoo-oo!-M-me teeth steppe on m-me t-tongue !" “You haven't heard my question,” protested the social philosopher. “T have heard enough of it to answer,” returned the cynic. “The answer THE TABLES TURNED. applied to all questions pertaining to the subject-matter of which you spoke.” ¢¢ JOHN, I think you were intoxicated yesterday. I understand “ Twill go at it differently then,” said the social philosopher slowly. “ There that you walked about Wall street with a red parasol over is a young man of my ac- quaintance—an_insignifi- cant, callow youth—who has been devoted to a j i — Fy, 4 i your head and a reticule f fastened to your waist ?” Piety “Indeed! And were you intoxicated when you j wore my shirt, necktie and ink derby hat to the woman’s- | é of suffrage meeting ?” brilliant girl and she has a ‘ Sa, | f ft just amused herself with Az ‘ . H him.” ; “Of course,” acqui- jj Wy f i 4 esced the yn. BOE NMR EM \} THE ONLY RE- “Flirted with him, : } SORT. but laughed at the idea Brown—" Where can of ever marrying him.” aman go to see girls in _" Certainly,” said the really pretty bathing-cos- cynic. - tumes? I've been to “Told my sister she nearly every resort on the could have her pick of a HY) coast. dozen brilliant and hand- Jones—"Go to the some men when she want- columns of the Sunday ed to marry.” " ‘ I, papers.’ “Not at all surpris- i < _ i ing.” : i ; Ly) / ! THE MODERN “Then the little dude \ i sees METHOD. jilted her, and what do %, 66D )0 YOU take any in- you think she did?” ) V D terest in the Cor- es Acted as if he weg bett-Jackson matter?” the only man in the ~ “Yes, indeed; but it world,” A BAD LISTENER. That is exactly wh: Baraen—' I would rather shave a dozen Peffers than shave that man once.” pooksite menow asi they bes lat is exactly what SARI — would rather shave a dozen Peffers than shave . * ., yf He has a very stiff beard, I suppose.” might settle it by arbitra- BARBer—‘ No; he is very deaf.” Sued him for breach of prom- Yes. “Put in a claim for blighted affections and all that.” “Say! do you know her?” “ Never heard of her, but that’s the way with all of them.” “Well, what I'am trying to get at,” persisted the social philoso- pher, “is why a girl"— “No known reason,” reiterated the cynic; and like wise men they dropped the subject there at the very point from which they started, ‘the point,” as the cynic said, “at which the subject always has to be abandoned in the end, no matter how long the discussion may have been.” RLLIOTT FLowRR, FROM MORN TO EVEN. a 64 JENKS is always making a fool 1, AN INTERRUPTED ACT. of himself.” ‘Acropat—"If dis don’t take wid de people noth- “Yes; he’s a believer in con- 2, AN INTERRUPTED ACT, in’ — tinuous shows.” —will comicbooks.com