Judge, 1894-05-26 · page 6 of 16
Judge — May 26, 1894 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical story mocks gender stereotypes and hypocrisy about women's virtue. The narrative presents a woman who devotedly tolerates her husband's alcoholism and abuse for years—the "ideal" patient, self-sacrificing wife. However, the punchline inverts expectations: once he reforms and stops drinking, she beats him with a rolling pin, scalds him with boiling water, and treats him miserably. The satire targets two audiences: men who praised women's "natural" patience and forgiveness as moral superiority, and women's actual resentment of that impossible standard. The repeated refrain "just like a woman" becomes ironic—the woman's cruelty after reform isn't feminine weakness but justified revenge. The story suggests that praising female tolerance of abuse was never about virtue but about convenient male exploitation. By refusing the reformed husband kindness, she exposes the absurdity of expecting infinite feminine patience.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ABSEN I= MINDED, Pat—* Moike, this is a heavy load, — “JUST LIKE A WOMAN.” THE jolly litle feliow had been away from his native town for several years and of course was interested in all that had taken place in that time. The thin, solemn-looking man had never left the town for over two days at a time and was consequently posted on all the news. “Sad case of Bixby’s,” said the sol- emn looking man with a shake of his “You remember Bixby ? Of course I do,” replied the jolly man, “He was a good-enough fellow in his way, but he drank a good deal.” “Yes,” said the solemn man “And he got worse after you left. You remember how he used to neglect his wife ?” “Yes, poor woman !" returned the jolly man. “I sometimes used to wonder how she could stand it, but she was always kind and patient with him.” “She was just as devoted to him later when he began to abuse her shamefully,” went on the thin man. “You see, he got so that he actually used to beat her at times.” “ Horrible!” said the jolly man. But I suppose she left him. She was always a high-spirited girl” No. She put up with it,” said the thin He acted the brute, but her love never faltered, She used to plead with him to reform, and she was always a true, kind wife, She stuck to him through everything and never even spoke a cross word. Her devotion to him was the talk of the neigh- borhood.”” “Just like a woman,” commented the jolly man. “She'll stick to a man who treats her like a yellow dog and chases her around the house with a poker. Funny, isn’t it? 1 suppose she thought she could reform him.” “Oh, of course. She took care of him and nursed him two or three times when liquor got him flat on his back, even when there were black-and-blue marks on her body that he had caused. She always thought that he got out after one of these spells he'd straighten up.” head. man, Bott (sotfo rwee}—"" He must be some great artist —Hould an a minnit till Oi shpit an me hands.” THOUGHTFUL. Jouxxy—" Why are you putting camphor on those furs?" Mama A—"" To keep the moths out of them.” Jouxxy—" What will the moths do if they get into the furs?” Mamata— Eat the hair off.” . vhy didn’t you put camphor on pa's head to keep the moths off of it?" . APE Look at that beautiful head of hair 22227 "That's just like a woman.” * admitted the solenin n end to all things, s run over by an ice-wagon or a cable-car, I suppose ?” “Oh, no.” “Died in the gutter after one of his Nothing of the kind.” “Crippled her in one of his drunken frenzies, perhaps? Or killed some one in the heat of passion ?” He reformed.” * Reformed !” exclaimed the jolly man in surprise. “Yes, He came home sober one night and announced that he had quit.” “Did he stick to it?” “Ob, yes. He has been as straight as a string ever since.” “Well, well !” exclaimed the little man, “So her loving-kindness and patience won at last. That must have been a great joy to her. What did she do?” “Inside of two days she had hit him over the head with a rolling-pin and nearly fractured his skull.” “You don’t mean it?” “Certainly Ido. ‘Then she scolded at him a good share of the time and told him he was a nuisance hanging around the house evenings. She threw some boiling water on him one morning because he did not get up quick enough to suit her, made him go with- out his breakfast another time, and hasn't spoken a pleasant word to him since he re- formed.” “But it wa to do.” just what she wanted him Certainly.” nd she was so devoted to him be- “ Of course.” “Well, well, id the little man reflec ~ * Just like a woman, isn’t it?” ively. RLLIOTT Flown, And just then came a blast which spoiled the illusion, comicbooks.com