Judge, 1894-05-26 · page 7 of 16
Judge — May 26, 1894 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces typical of late 19th-century American humor: **"The Pride of Pedigree"** mocks European (specifically Dutch) aristocratic pretension. Three blue-blooded tulips boast of their Holland ancestry, but lose a romantic competition to an American yellow tulip who dismisses their lineage. The satire targets Old World snobbery about genealogy, celebrating American egalitarianism. **"Greek Meets Greek"** depicts two Jewish immigrants (indicated by Yiddish dialect) in a con scheme—one "selling" his daughter for a dowry note that the other immediately pockets and endorses fraudulently. It's an ethnic stereotype joke about shrewd Jewish business dealings. Other brief items include domestic humor and philosophical aphorisms typical of Judge's miscellaneous content. The Irish dialect pieces ("Easy to See," "Incorrigible to the Last") use caricatured speech patterns—common period ethnic humor about Irish immigrants' supposed ignorance and troublemaking.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AMAN WITH AN END IN VIEW. THE PRIDE OF PEDIGREE. THREE tulips clad in red and gold, A brave and brilliant three, Once grew within my garden old— As proud as proud could be. They boasted that their blood was blue, ‘Their ancestors in Holland grew, Reside the Zuyder Zee. Now bloomed a tulip near the wall, So slim and white to see That madly into love fell all The fond and foolish three. And each forgot that he was great, And offered her his name and state And shady family tree She listened while their love they told. "No, thank you, sir,” said she ; **T could not enter such an old And time-stained family. The yellow tulip by the gate Will purchase with our new estate A nice new pedigree !* Then spoke the yellow tulip tall, In tones of wicked glee, * You Dutchmen stand no chance at all In this land of the free. And when my bride and I are wed, You'd best dry up and blow,” he said, “Back to the Zuyder Zee !" o Xone THE SLERPING RRAUTY. ROSENTHAL JUDGE HER VIEW OF IT. + + YOU live opposite the Vanas- ters, I believe, Mrs. Knicker- bock,” said Mrs. Cumso, No,” replied Mrs. Knicker- bock stiffly. ‘The Vanasters live opposite me. A BELIEVER. He— Was the deceased a be- liever in the bible?” Friend — He must have been. One of his last requests was that his shroud should be made of as- bestos.” A CHEERFUL OUTLOOK. Mrs. Youngwife (welcoming husband home) —“ Now, duckey, I've been cooking all day. I've made pie and cake and biscuits.” Duckey (cheerfully)—* Then “Let us eat, drink and be merry. (or to-morrow we die N- GREEK MEETS GREEK. i You vant mine daughter, eh? Very dis note ohf mine fer ten tousand tollars und you gan h: SCKAMBLEBAUM (interrupting and pocketing note)—* Und 1 gan haf id fera vedding-bresent? Oh, t’ank you, Mister Rosenthal ! I vill indorse id later on.” JUDGMENTS. HE religion of the future will furnish reasons. The possibilities in a case do not prove it. Adam has few male descendants who are as mean as he was. Sometimes genius may be bound or barred for a time, but she will out. Most women now- adays are fair just in proportion as they are false. Loosen your grip on others sometimes, but never upon your- self. A tip for S. Grand —A man’s wife has no business with his was- ness ; only with his is- ness and his hence- forthly. COACH-AND-FOUR EASY TO SEE, O'Grady— Pat, phwen is elic~ tion-day?” Brady —" Arrah, Moike, but aren't ye th’ granehorn t' be askin’ me thot now! Is it becase av th’ bastin’ we're afther gittin’ in th’ wist thot ye doan’t know th’ da’ ye war licked — whin th’ very ‘far-downs* knows ‘tis th’ furst Chewsda’ in Novimber ?" O'Grady —*"Tis not! "Tis th furst Chewsda’ afther th’ furst Mon- da’ in Novimbe Brady—" fist lishten 1’ th’ ele- phantine ignorince av him! How cud it cum afther th’ furst Monda’ widout bein’ th’ furst Chewsda’? Will ye till me thot now?" O'Grady—Veshpalpeen! Th’ furst av th’ mont’ moight cum on a ‘Chewsda’, moightn’t it?” Brady (with an air of convic- “Thrue fur ye, Moichael. Hy Mayers tion) But thin (doubtfully) it moight cum ‘on a Wednesda’ or a Satherda’, or a’most any other da’ ixcipt Monda’, moighto’t it? OGrady (thoughtfully) —""T |. Shoost indorse moight, Pat; ‘t moight. Bot’ av us has th’ roight ai INCORRIGIBLE TO THE “LAST. FAturr Quintin —"‘An’ phat are ye doing wid the poipes an’ gun- powdher ?* Dooxsy (the joter}—"* Sure, fathe the tarriers that Il'be here at me wak I'm going to have some faz wid oe comicbooks.com