Judge — April 7, 1894 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Well, ef mah luck ain't wif me ter-day! Look at dat cigar-butt, an’ only half smoked !— AN OBSERVATION. H, GENTLE maid, I see you've spent Your summer ‘neath the budding trees ; For lo! the sportive sun hath burnt Your face with forest traceries. ACCEPTED APOLOGIES. Mamma —" Gracie, nurse tells me you did not say your prayers last night.” Gracie (aged five)—"No, mamma; I didn’t have to last night, for I was so ve'y tihed an’ s'eepy ‘at I jus’ got down quick under ‘e covers, an’ I said, ‘O, Lord! p'ease excuse me for not saying my prayers to-night for I am so ve'y tihed an’ s'eepy,’ an’ He said, ‘Cehtainly, Miss Tom- linson.’ MUST INSULT BE ADDED TO THAT INJURY? A YOUNG girl of twelve was +* spending the summer where mosquitoes were abundant. The farmers protected their faces while cutting grass, the clergyman wore protectors of wire over his hands while writing his sermon, and while milking the cows they built fires on the opposite side of the cows for the smoke to protect them. This girl aged twelve was looking out on the scene at twilight. She said, “Don’t you think it would be an awful thing to spend your whole life here and then have to go to hell when you die?” Mr. Jono Mrs. Jounson A TALE OF TWO BUTTS. — Pickin’ up a cigar in dis yer way is nuffin’ to a membah ob de ‘ brudderhood ob united tumblers. A BIG JoB. Mrs. Jonson —"* Whad, ain't yo" ready yit, niggah ?" * Yes, mammy ; all but black'n mah shoes.” I but black'n yer shoes! Whad time yo’ tink dat in train start—nex’ week UNDESERVED CRITICISM. (The arrival of butt number two.) Whiz—bang—1!!! A BACHELOR’s PREFERENCE. | LIKE those oaths of days long done, And of all I prefer That eminently knightly one— “What! Marry! never, sir!” TULIP aRADNaLen, RAILROAD SCHEDULES. Passenger—" What time does the next train go out?” Railroad-man —" Six-ten, ma'am.” Passenger—" Impossible !" Railroad-man —" Why impossible ?” Passenger —" Why, man! six-ten is the schedule time for leaving.” APPARENTLY WELL. LITTLE JULIA was out walking with her father the other morn- ing when they met the rector of Holy Trinity.“ Good-morning, lit- tle miss,” said the parson as he patted her cheek; ‘‘and how are you today?" Wee Julia tumed her head to one side and with a long-drawn sigh replied, “Oh, I'm stirring, thank God !” . POLITENESS PAYS. ++ AS A man of fashion Dobbins has become out of date, as it were, since he moved over to Jersey City.” “Yes, The other day Astor- bilt took off his hat toa lady with the new flourish, and just then Dobbins passed and put a dollar Miss Nearsicurzp —'I always thought that Mr. Jones was vulgar, and now I know he is, The idea of any one racing through the park like that !" comicbooks.com