Judge — February 10, 1894 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

85 HOW TO CUT A BALL-DRESS. am going to get a new ball.gown, Harry, Tell me how I shall have it cut.” Why don't you have it cut alphabetically 7” Iphabetically! How is that?* © in the front and V in the back.” A COMPOSITE STYLE. ‘4G HE has built a house on the Hudson and painted it gray and red. 1 wish you could see it.” “Why, the architect told me it was to be in the Elizabethan style.” “Oh, but this is her own idea—a combi- OVERCOMIN( N S Hy . a n, TERS OMENS AN OBSTACLE: OR. nation of the Lady Jane Grey and the Bloody Mary COULDN’T BE WORSE. Minister (trying to convert sinner}— ~ Bat, sir, it is impossible to imagine anything like the torments of the lower regions!" Sinner (from Kings county) —"’Scuse me (hic), sir, but ye never lived in Brook-(hic)-I'n, did ye?" ZZ : alse == eG= ; PUNNING. THEY were chatting together during the entrée, and he chanced to see her look coyly at herself in a mirror over the great sideboard opposite. A bright thought struck him. “Why are you women un- like that mirror there?” he said gayly; and then, without wait- ing for her reply, he said, “That glass reflects without speaking, but women speak without re- flecting.”* “Very clever,” she replied gravely, that mirror also reminds me of you by its dissit so smooth and polished. He concluded that punning was an unprofitable pursuit. HOW SHE JUDGED. Mrs, Hojack—"\s your pastor a clergyman of ad- vanced religious views ?” Mrs, Tomdik —" Oh, yes, indeed. He always says + wownd ’ and ‘eye-ther’ and ‘ny-ther.’” 3 MUCH BETTER. ‘(TOMPKINS is the embodiment of grace on skates.” “L'il admit that he looks better on two than one.” CONUNDRUM. < + VHAT is the difference between a barber and a butcher?" Victim's answer—" There is none.” a Doran—"* ‘Tek thot monkey-fur aff th’ kid's head, Mary Ann, Av yez don’t payple ‘il Vink thot little Dinnis an’ his Scotch tarrier bees twins.” THE HORRID MAN! Young woman —Now, Mr. Fewords, don’t you think my picture deserves a hanging?” Young man—"1 think electrocution is preferable.” SCIENTISTS ALL. Man —"Do you tramps consider your occupation a trade or a profession ? Tramp —" Neither; we've got it down to a science.” “But do you know that larity? It is comicbooks.com