Judge, 1894-01-20 · page 4 of 16
Judge — January 20, 1894 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from the satirical magazine *Judge* contains multiple short humor pieces typical of late 19th/early 20th-century American comedy: **"Equality"** mocks gender double standards: a husband complains about his wife's perfume expenses while she points out his cigar smoking costs more—suggesting hypocrisy in marital finances. **"Posthumous Piety"** satirizes false respectability: a man claimed to despise charity during life, yet donated his art collection to a blind asylum after death—the irony being the donation is useless to its intended recipients. **"A Family Matter"** uses ethnic Irish dialect humor (common but now offensive) about blended families fighting among themselves. **Minor pieces** include wordplay ("Fruitful"—surnames Appel and Peach make a Pear), observations about social pretense, and tramp humor. The cartoons accompanying these jokes use exaggerated illustrations typical of the era's satirical style. The overall tone reflects Judge's irreverent approach to marriage, class, hypocrisy, and contemporary social behavior.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
> All men and women FIRST MOONSHINER— sudden, eh? What was the SECOND MOONSH' revenue-officer and missed A SURPRISE, E passed me on the strect to-day ‘That maid so rich and proud I met along the coast last May— She passed me—but she bowed. EQUALITY. He (angrily) —" Look at this bill. Forty dollars for perfumery—for mere odors that fade away forever!” She (calmly) —""Gone to meet the smoke from the last eight boxes of cigars you have consumed during the last three months.” CONSOLATION. ] PO not mind the paying doctors’ bills (We all are liable to aches and ills); I do not mind the worry and the pain, There is such pleasure getting well again, THE REASON. Ducktine (looking at his tait)—"* Well, well! T never noticed that before.” Motiter—“' Nothing queer about that, Duckie ; they generally grow behind.” old Mr. Scruggs.” § JUDGE A FATAL ERROR. FRUITFUL. HS same was Appel, hers was Peach ; But at the altar-stair agree ‘They made a handsome Pear. POSTHUMOUS PIETY. She —" You were unjust to He—" How She—" You always said it would pain him to think he'd done any good with his wealth, but I see he left a valuable legacy to a public institution.” He—* Well, U heard he did bequeath his picture-gallery to the blind-asylum.”* ing * again.”” LADY, writing for Harper's Magazine, tells of a man driving a yoke of oxen with reins, We thought everybody knew that oxen were driven with a gad and a little profanity. A PUT-UP JOB. Hottisos — "I say, Dorris, Miss Betty here says you've got the finest voice she ever heard.” Dorris —"* Thanks, awfully. Houttson —"* Let's hear it.” Dorris —* Not here?” Hottisoy —"' Ves; right here, Just order the luncheon.” SENTENCES PASSED BY THE JUDGE. Ti IOSE. who offer wares invite rebuff. Stopping a small leak will not save a sinking vessel. One is apt to undervalue what he has valued overmuch. Hobbies are the most uncomfortable of all beasts to ride. When a woman would see brightness where she suspects may be a blur she wears a silver-shining veil before her eyes. The foot that treads on the adder shall be stung; the hand that is stretched forth with a rod instead of a sceptre shall be cut off. Sympathy with the human comedy may be less easy to assure than is patience to acquire, but a generous measure of the one may make the other less necessary. KATHNWINE. GROSJEAK A FAMILY MATTER. Patrick (formerly a widower) —“ Phat a divil av a row!” Bridget (formerly a widow) — Di shpose it’s your childern an’ me childern foightin’ wid our childern.” I do rawther pride myself.” “Ah! a new scheme in advertising, I s'pose? ighen it's that confounded ‘ Hockheimer's special sale of cheap cloth- IT'S AN ILL WIND BLOWS. NOBODY GOOD. First TRAMP—"* Dese hard times makes it all de better fer our biz, pard.”” SECOND TRAMP—"' How yer makes dat out?” First TRAMP—"''Cos when yer strikes people fer grub an’ tells “em yer can't find work they knows yer ain’t lyin’!” comicbooks.com