Judge — January 20, 1894 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A MAN WHO OBJECTED TO KISSING. ET me tell you,” said the summer girl to the reporter, who was chat- ting with her at a reception on his night off, “about the miserable little wretch who spoiled our summer for us up at York Har- bor. “Tt was this way: Kate and I were at the M—— house late in the s¢ason—the end of September—and there were very few com- panionable people there. The only exceptions to the general rule were two Yale men, Dick and Tom Matchlord, the foot-ball men, So it was not at all surprising that we formed a congenial and exclusive quartette. “The one drawback was the presence of two of those despicable, prim old tabbies, old-lady scan- dal-mongers and gossips, who seemed to have a particular spite against Sister Kate and I because we were young and they were old. These two creatures would sit on the piazza all day long, con- tinually knitting —like the French revolution guil- lotine ladies — and with every stitch, presto! a reputation was knitted away. “ Well, one day it happened that my sister, one or two other girls and I were standing on the piazza, looking at a tintype of us all, when up strolled that wretched creature Malcolm Cheesly, a man we hated. Mr. Cheesly, noticing the tintype, asked to see it, but I answered, * Not much!" “Then quickly he made a grab for it and be- fore we realized what he was doing he had the tin- THE TRICKS OF THE TRADE. Mrs. BLoopcoop—“* No, Mr, Dauber, I must positively refuse to take the portrait, My daughter's features are not there at all.” THE AxTIsT—"* Very well, Mrs. Bloodgood ; it makes no difference at all. I have an order from the proprietor of the Jollington café, and as you say this does not resemble your daughter I can easily paint ouit all the drapery and "— Mrs. BLoopcoop— “*Oh—er—dear me! Why, now, perhaps if you were to change the expression of the left eye a trifle it might do after all." TOO MUCH, Sister Emmaline—* S'ter "Phronia, | unnerstan’s dat yo" hab lef’ de High- wash Babtis' chu’ch an’ done gone obah to de Mefodis’, Am dat so?” Sister "Phronia— Yes, S'ter Emmaline, 1 has.” Sister Emmaline—" Wall, what was de ‘casion ob yoh change ob ‘victions, S'ter 'Phronia?” Sister ‘Phronia—* Well, dat dah Pahson Hollyhawk didn’ suit me ‘zackly. He had a reglah * poah-folks* walk, an’ he wah makin’ lub to ebry woman in dat ch'uch ‘cept me; an’ I couldn’ stan’ dat, nohow. So I done lef’.” THE RETORT COURTEOUS, Parson —'‘ My boy, don’t you know that if you go shooting on ‘Sunday you will lose your immortal soul?” Boy —"* Mister, don't you know dat every minute I'm standin’ here listenin’ to you I'm losin’ three woodpeckers ?” type and was making a break for the other end of the piazza, You can bet we chased him. We caught him too, and were trying to wrest the picture away when, what do you suppose that con- temptible creature did ? “He had noticed those two aged, puritanical scandal-mongers coming around the corner—our backs had been turned—and he \\i shouted out loud, so they would hear, PS *+No, I won't allow it! I won't be kissed against my will ! pau 2S" / You can imagine the rest. ‘Those old tabbies told mamma, aes are and Kate and I were sent packing back to New York. And, worst A AN Te eee anne of all, that detestable Mr. Cheesly has the tintype. Just expose Le eat earingh be ct eid v Mixe—"* How th’ divil could I, whin th’ report av th’ gun frightened both av him in your paper, will you? thim away ?” comicnooke a