Judge — September 30, 1893 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE DEACON RANDOLPH'S PHILOSOPHY. CAT-MEAT. 66] SEE by de grocer’s bill dat yo" got ten cigars dis week an’ had ‘em charged to me,” said Deacon Randolph the other morning. “Well, fadder,” replied the heir-apparent, “I couldn’ raise de currency no how, an’ besides, ebery one am gittin’ trusted now-a-days.” “Dey am, eh?" cried the deacon. “Am dat yo" excuse fo" running in debt, yo" fool niggah? Becase a bank busts in Kansas has yo’ gotter run up a bill at F de corner liquor-store? Becase Wall street am worried an’ de silver mines closed, does dat fo'ce yo’ to draw yo’ salary in advance an’ hock yo" rhine-stone pin? Whad assets yo" got to realize on after yo’ obligashuns become duc? Whad am yo’ resources dat any business house should gib yo" an extenshun? Whad yo’ got in reserve to help on better times an’ secure yo" debts, ‘cept a pa'r ob busted labender pants an’ a pawn-ticket? Go ‘long wiv yo"! Ef yo" stopped yo" gin an’ terbacker an’ tell yo" boss dat yo" willin’ to work half time fo’ de present, to help him out, den yo’ show as much sense as Russell Sage, but now I see yo" am as slippery as dem National cordage folkses !” THE WRONG MAN. Anxious husband—"\ am afraid, doctor, that my wife isa very sick woman. She hasn't spoken a word all day.” Doctor—* Then you don’t need me. You want an undertaker.” THE GIRL’S REMEDY. Emily (at. boarding-school) —"Jane scems worried about something. Harrict—" Yes; she found yesterday that her pickle hair pins and those she wears had become so badly mixed that she couldn't tell the difference.” Emily —" What will she do?" Harriet — Buy some new ones for her hair.”” RIDE goes forth to meet an antagonist z S LITTLE JOK' “Dey's times, Willie, when T allers likes t' git it right in de neck.” *W'en's dat so?” Wren I'm dry.” VERY UNFORTUNATE. s+] T'S pretty tough to own only one suit of clothes,” said Hicks. “Suppose some one steals it. Why, you have absolutely no re-:tress.” EXCUSABLE IMPENITENCE, She—" Uhope that poor Mr. Janney finally died a converted man.” He—V'm afraid not. He was a bigamist and had promised both his wives to meet them above.” ay, ROYAL DISADVANTAGES. A GRAVE AFFAIR, Mamma—"* we have fallen into the bad Mx. Isaacs—"*Didt you hert alretty dot habit, you and I, of sitting up late o' nights, The old Nickelstein vos dealt?” | nigson_ little queen of Holland is just your age and she is Mosey all his monies und five hundred dollars S€nt to bed regularly at eight o'clock, for a stone to his memory Essie —"Is she? Mx. Isaacs—"* Vill Mosey erect der stone ?* Mamma—" She is.” Mr. SoLomon —"* Veil. not egsactly ; der AER | ae stone vill be set in a ring und it vill be inscribed Essie—* Well, 1 am glad 1am not the to his father’s memory ” of Holland.” comicbooks.com