Judge — September 30, 1893 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE AWFUL SUFFERING. (4]S THERE really much suffering in New York city just now?” “Well, I should say there was. 1 heard of an anarchist this afternoon who hadn't had a glass of beer in three days.” THE PARTY ABASHED. Fanning—" So you went out to congratulate your old chum on being a father, did you?” Channing —" Yes.” Fanning—"1 suppose Thompson looked like a fool when you did it.” Channing—"No. He was very dignified — er —but the baby looked SUSTAINING A TERRIBLE SHOCK. awfully sheepis IN VINO VERITAS. [7 WAS alter he had had his sixth cocktail that the funny man stated his belief that “‘hokes about Joke Smith were being run into the ground,” THE REASON WHY. Little sister (to big sister)—" Go lay an egg.” Dignified sister —"\ can't, Ida, dear; only hens and roosters lay eggs.” LRP Seer ya St ODETTE Tig Tae eon are rtem eee IN CHICAGO. EXcITED STRANGER—"' Officer, there's some one being murdered in that buildin; Don’t you hear the shrieks?” OrrickR—"'Calm yourself, my friend. That is only the board of lady managers hol ing.” WHERE AM | AT? +¢PTEOUTH chainfteate strainfollem.” This is not Scandi- navian or Volapiik, but a specimen of English in use only by the guards on the elevated railroads. In accordance with our well-known charitable disposition toward the public we are prepar- ing a dictionary of terms in use by the guards of the elevated roads which will enable a person to tell exactly where he is at. The above sentence translated into English is, “Fiftieth; change for Fifty- ighth. This train for Harlem.” Here are a few specimens from the forthcoming book: ware; “Ranks "—Franklin square; “Shats hatham square; change for city hall and bridge; "Houston; “ Wort"—Fourteenth, Forty-second and Cortlandt. OUGHT TO WORK. Mamma—"What are you doing, Johnnie?” THE MISTAKE WAS MUTUAL. Johnnie—' Putting some of papa’s hair-renewer on the bald Tue TWO EASTERN DUDES (together)—'* Gwacious! what a tewwible-looking fel- spot in the grass-plat.” lah! I hope he will not want to hurt me. A TROUBLE-SAVER, Tt may be inconvenient at times to have a figure —you don't have to monkey all morning try- ihiaeieee Sie like this, but ing to— y B