Judge, 1893-09-16 · page 3 of 16
Judge — September 16, 1893 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several short humorous sketches typical of Judge magazine's satirical humor: **"A Chance to Show His Pluck"** depicts marital discord—a wife reproaches her husband for lacking ambition and accomplishment, then sarcastically suggests he prove himself by doing housework. **"The Ladder to Fame"** mocks an ambitious schoolboy's naïve belief that goodness and church attendance lead to distinction. **"Occasion for Inquiry"** shows a cook defending herself against accusations of theft by blaming neighborhood incidents for missing items. **"His Business Was Good"** features a pawnbroker and Democrat debating economic policy, with the pawnbroker claiming prosperity from his business experience. **"Profitable Sinning"** depicts deacons caught gambling on Sunday, attempting to minimize their transgression. These sketches satirize everyday hypocrisy, failed ambitions, and moral compromises among ordinary Americans.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A CHANCE TO SHOW HIS PLUCK. Wire —"Arthur, dear, didn’t you ask me a hundred times before we were married for an opportunity to show your phick and how much you loved me?" s, my love, and I feel the same now.” ‘0 the kitchen and discharge the cook !"" SAFE HIMSELF. Bruin —""I say, Growler, you had better come down out of that tree if you don’t wish to get hurt. Don't you see the dade hunter is shooting at me?” HIS BUSINESS WAS GOOD. + *\JELL,” said the Republican, “I hope you Demo- crats are properly disgusted with yourselves now.” “Why should we be?” asked the Democrat. “Mills shutting down, banks breaking, hundreds of thousands of men out of work, and a general outlook for winter of great misery “T don't know that I can agree with you, For my part Lam making more money now than I ever did before ‘n twenty years’ business experience.” You are?” Tam." ~ What business are you in?” “Tm a pawnbroker.” . THE LADDER TO FAME. se] T'S ALL very well to be famous,” said the Sunday-school teacher to an ambitious pupil who had expressed a desire for distinction, “but you must learn to be good first.” ‘And so I will,” returned the lad. get tried for heresy and be famous.” “I'll be good and join the church and then II] OCCASION FOR INQUIRY. Cook—" Oi'm dishgushted wid yer second gurrul, mum, an’ will be afther lavin’ whin me mont’s up.” Mistress —* Why, cook, what's the matter? together, Cook —" So we did, mum, until lasht avenin’ inursilf an’ the waithress from the nixt house but wan came in wid a quarther av a pound of goomdhrops bechune the two av em an’ sot forninst me in me own kitchen, atin av ‘em; an’ divvil a wan av ‘em axed me if I had a mout’ on me.” I thought you got along so nicely PROFITABLE SINNING. e've bin playing poker, but when we found it was two o'clock on Sunday morning we felt guilty and stopped, and now we're trying to square our conscience by turning it over to the church,” boys, good boys; you may have sinned, but you ain't lost. How much is there 2” teen dollars and sixty cents.” **Um-um, don’t ye think ye’d better play a little longer ?” “Say, deacon, comicbooks.com