Judge, 1893-09-16 · page 4 of 16
Judge — September 16, 1893 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* contains multiple short satirical pieces mocking social pretension and ignorance of the era: **"Up to the Times"** ridicules fashion terminology—a job applicant uses the newest phrase "smartly gowned" instead of older descriptors. **"A Question" and "Such Ignorance!"** feature a child character named Bobby exposing adult absurdity: waves costing money (misreading poetry), and a father unable to answer basic historical questions. **"Terra-Firma"** mocks newly wealthy social climbers—an ex-bill-poster (working-class origin) buys a yacht to gain respectability but admits he prefers solid ground. **"A Coup d'État"** shows street urchins ("Weary Walker," "Walking Walter") as con artists trying to scam women for food. **"A Verdict"** satirizes small-town snobbery—a visitor is ostracized for buying cheap cigars, interpreted as arrogant. The remaining pieces gently mock courtship, marriage anxieties, and smoking. Overall, the humor targets class anxieties, social climbing, and pretension—common *Judge* themes lampooning Gilded Age society.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
UP TO THE TIMES. 6+] OW," said the editor to the applicant for a place as society reporter, “do you speak of a well-dressed woman or a well-groomed woman?” “Ob, both are passé,” replied the applicant. “I say smartly gowned.” A QUESTION. Bobby— Pa, do breaking waves cost much ?" Pa—Why, pshaw! Bobby, they don’t cost anything.” Bobby— Yes, they do, pa. Here's a piece of poetry that begins, ‘ The breaking waves dashed high.’ ” SUCH IGNORANCE! Bobby—" Papa, who was Peter the great?” Papa—" That's a nice question for a little Sunday-school boy to ask. Why don’t you study your bible?” A SINECURE. “Hey, Jimmie! don’ yer wish yer had ther snap I got? Thet dude from ‘the city is givin’ me two dollars er day ter carry his game for ‘im an’ he can’t hit ther side of a house.” TERRA-FIRMA. R. STETSON had had an affecting parting with Mr. Somer- by, who had given him a start in life, humble though it nd having acquired means enough to be recognized as a desirable acquaintance, thought it proper to invest in a yacht. “You have given us a fine sail, Mr. Stetson,” remarked the senator, after the first day out. s,” replied the ex-bill-poster, who stood leaning over the “Yes, we've had a fine sail, but "—with a burst of earnest ness—T'll be mighty glad to get on vice-versa again !" THAT SETTLED IT. Laurence—*Vertie Bashwood is engaged to that pretty widow he’s been attentive to so long.” Torrence—" That so? I never thought he'd get his cour- age up.” Laurence— Guess she thought so too; and last time they went with a party down to Manhattan, when they came to the tunnel she hollered * Ouch ‘WHERE IGNORANCE IS BLISS,” A VERDICT. 44] TRIED to spend a month at a little Long island town, but the people ostracized me com- pletely. Why so?" “Well, 1 went around trying to buy a ten-cent cigar and they thought I was proud.” REASSURING. Mr. Day Wed— “Tam afraid, love, you will find me rather ex- acting at times, and I am afraid, too, that I am a little inclined to find fault without A COUP D' ETAT. cause: Wraky WALKER —''See here, Walter! we're desperit, an’ you gotter try = 4 new game, Go up to dat house an’ ask de lady for a drink of ice-cold water, a Day Wed— E END OF IT. an’ perhaps you'll git a pie.” “Oh, don't worry, Mr. SAINTLY —* My little boy, I WALKING WALTER (Aorrified)—"* Yes, but wha-wha-whad if she offered dear! I'll see that. am very sorry to see you smoking a cigarette. Are me de w-a-t-e-r z you aware what you are coming to?” Weary WALKER — ‘Why, den cut an run, an’ we'll tink up anew You always have THE LITTLE BOY—" Yes. sit. Iam coming to scheme.” cause.” the butt.” comicbooks.com