Judge — September 16, 1893 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATRS AND CANADA, IN ADVANCE One copy, one year, or s2 numbers - $5.00 One cooy, six months, or 26 numbers - £0 One coos. for 13 weeks ~ ae Including the Cwerstaas Jupce ‘S—Toall for union, FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIO cigm countrict tm the pos ‘$6.0 rear, THe JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (Jupce Buttpina) Cor. Fifth Ave. and 16th Street, New York than any other American satire. 17 Avenue del Opera, Paris; Smith, Ainslee & i Suarback's News Exchange jeerlan 2 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of June are protected by cop; right in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted THE WALKING DELEGATE is bad enough, but God help the worker against the talking delegate. THE RUMOR of a quarrel between Cleveland and Lamont is obvious- ly untrue Neither man is such a fool as that, “SMCGLYNN TALKS,” says. the Boston Record. Oh, pray, pray! say not such things, Talk? Oh, never, never! WILL MR. PALMER kindly give out a little information as to the condition of the Veragua fund? At present it looks like a long-felt want. . vid ARRY NEAL doesn’t smoke, chew or drink, and he ought to have very wide license as to language when he comes to tell what's the matter with him, THE HON. T. B. REED has an able presidential boom, but he hadn't better agitate it too much until we get some important information from Ohio. ‘ THE EDITOR of the Boston Giobe is plainly an optimist. Even in Kansas, he says, there is a little com- mon sense left. Bear in mind, how- ever, that he doesn't mention Colo- rado, WOMEN ASSUME a great deal of courage, but they never have Hereafter the Chicago lady man- agers will meet so surreptitiously and one at a tinfe that they will never have a quorum. the cop I struck, your honor?” Justice—" Yes” DIMINUTIVE PRISONER—"* ‘The it, THE IMPROVEMENT on the state border is very modcrate. Here is the Buffalo Express frankly confessing that the average citizen of its town doesn’t know the difference between a street-car and a drinking- saloon, HE PHYSICIAN who gave to the press pictures of “Mr. Cleve- land's legs and arms has probably advertised himself out of a good deal of money. Let him now give pictures of a few wens and tumors, and then take some of his own remedies and die. TOTTY’S FIRMNESS. TOTTEN IS JUST as sure of his judgment as he was last year. ‘There won't be any fuss about it, he says, but the millennial will dawn in ‘99. The man couldn't be more of a crank if he owhed a silver mine himself, mi ile il A SUKE Justice (to diminutive prisoner)—" There is no use your denying that You assaulted the policeman and that you were drunk.” DitinuTIVve: PRISONER (pointing to gigantic policeman)—" Is th’t THE YOUTH OF HIS OLD AGE. T THE AGE of sixty-eight Carter Harrison marries for the third time and gets a wife of thirty who is worth three million dollars. We may have said bad things of C. H., but they were inadvertent, immaterial, irrelevant, and ought to have been held by the court to be inadmissible. And there should be a new adage—“ There is io fool like a young fool, and there are no old ones.” THE AWFUL. HENRY. HEN THE ANGEL stands with a foot on land and one on sea and there arises on the chaos the trumpet of the good Gabriel, the usual little man will call out from his unsuspected hiding-place, “Aha, Henry Villard! see what your infernal financiering has done for us at last!” But that won't bother Henry any. He'll be in prime condition for resumption in the one of the two impending worlds he happens to go to. PROTECTION UNAVOIDABLE. CHINA retaliates for the Geary act by expelling Americans from China it will be hard on a few persons. If we had no act regulating, and pretty nearly ending, Chinese immigration, it would be hard on every American making a living as a mechanic or an artisan. We must protect our own. There would be no justice in permitting our sixty-five millions of people to be stamped out by the five hundred millions that belong to China, IF JUSTICE. [7 WOULD BE NICE if Germany would stand at the back of Italy long enough to let that little power get satisfaction of France for the recent slaughter of Italians at Aigues-Mortes; and it would be still nicer, though hard- ly possible, if France might be made to give up every dollar she made by her recent robbery of Siam. But all that in good time. This world does not go by chance altogether, and retri- bution is as certain as crime. hull NOT SO BAD. THE REPUTATION of New Jersey for refinement and progress is im- proving daily. Recently a jury acquit- ted a Mrs: Shan of the charge of first poisoning and then disemboweling her son; and it is not so long since a young lady was found to be guiltless of the death of her father and step- mother. There, too, is the fact that Leon Abbett is no longer governor. This is negative commendation, to be sure; but in these hard times one must be satisfied with what he can get. THE VOCIFEROUS LEG. T IS ARGUED. by the Elmira Ad- vertiser that “it the curch hado't opposed ofdinary dancing we shouldn't have such extravagant gymnastics and so many kickers now. ‘There is some- thing in that; and yet the viciousness that makes dancing a mere exhibition of body and leg is too honest to cla vindication by putting the blame ou anything but itself. It says flatly that it wants that kind of dancing, is proud of it, and that it’s going to stay, But it will not stay. A little quiet dancing would be like a religious ceremony by way of contrast, and would be gratifying as a curiosity. We shall all return to that presently, barring a little death and rheumatism, and very likely the church will commend the change. FINANCE. S THE PERSON -vho buries his money aware that in that way he sequestrates a bit of public confidence? How good is the suggestion of Robert Ingersoll in this connection—" Young man, if you have but a dollar spend it like a prince.” What is needed now and here is the spirit of the late Horatio Sparkler, whose liberality with the money temporarily loaned him was beyond praise; or that of Mr. Wilkins Micawber, who not only gave up every dollar in his possession, but added his note when- ever he could get anybody to take it. Let us not hoard. Let us not be suspicious of the government or of each other, fellow-citizens. Let us do our utmost to preserve public confidence, or to resurrect it if it has gone under. THING, en must have been blind drunk.” comicbooks.com