Judge, 1893-08-26 · page 6 of 16
Judge — August 26, 1893 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains eight brief satirical sketches typical of Judge's humor circa 1880s-1890s: **"So Inconsiderate"** mocks a Black railroad station attendant for her directness when seeking a passenger, suggesting her manner is rude. **"Woman's Way"** jokes that women judge books by endings without reading them. **"An Eye to Business"** depicts a man burying biscuits before a Civil War veterans' reunion, planning to sell them as authentic 1863 "cannon-balls"—satirizing opportunistic commercialism. **"Bad for Pat"** uses ethnic Irish dialect humor, with a priest assigning penance to a man who's "made an ass of himself." **"Economy"** features Yiddish-accented dialect humor about a father planning to let his son play with a neighbor's toys instead of buying birthday presents. **Other sketches** include mild domestic humor about comet-watching, burglary, and musical talent—standard period fare. The page reflects Judge's reliance on ethnic caricature and working-class mockery as primary comedic sources.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE SO INCONSIDERATE, THE colored woman in charge of the ladies’ waiting-room at one of the Jersey City railway-stations poked her head inside the door the other day and asked, "Is anybody here by the name of Miss Helen Simpson ?” No answer. “Is Helen Simpson here ?” the woman repeated. “ Because if she is she is wanted at the telephone.” No one answered, whereupon the questioner said rather tartly, “I think you might answer yes or no,” and slammed the door. WOMAN'S WAY. Merritt—"How do you like your new book?” Cora—"1 haven't read it yet, but it ends beautifully Ixzy—‘*Pop, ain’d you goin’ ter gif me no birt'day bresents?” Pop—"‘No, mein leedle sohn; but I vas goin’ ter let you gall on dot leedle poy next door unt blay all tay. He has lots ohf birt'day bresents, unt you vas ged somedings fer noding. See?” CORRECTED. 1. FARMER Jones—"'I guess we'll fix thet = $60 SMOKING here, sir,” said thar tramp comin’—eh, Nero?’ At him, Nero!” sp the guard. ; “Excuse me,” returned the stalwart stranger, “but you lie, I'm smoking here.”” BEATS TWO TAILS. HEY were out looking at the comet. One of the guests said he thought he could see two tails. “That's nothing,” put in the enfant terrible. “I've heard ma say that pa often sees two moons,” A VAIN SEARCH. Von Blumer—"\ hear that burglars broke into your house last night. Did they find anything ?* Witherby—" No. My wile is cleaning house. AN EYE TO BUSINESS. ly AT GETTYSBURG, ‘ i} “What are you doing, my good man?” “Ob, just burying some biscuit that my { wife made this morning.” Some freak of fancy, I suppose ?” } “No, sir; business, There's going to be a veteran reunion here two months from now and I've got to have some genuine 1863 cannon-balls to sell.” xcuse me, but T used ter be er dog-catcher in der city of New Vork.— UNSEASONABLE. SEVVHY the deuce don’t Ww you reform, Jack ? “Tt isn’t the right time of year, Wait until new- year's.” MUSICAL NOTE, Rex—* What sort of a range has the new tenor in our quartette?” Leo— Sort of a mount- ain range, I should say.” Rex—"How do you make that out Leo—It's ‘ rocky. PROGRESS, BAD FOR Pat. Briggs—" How are you His revereNce—"'Patrick, you must do penance by Setting on with your banjo eating a bale of hay. lessons?” scab STMR— "Why, yer riverence? Om nather a harse er Griggs—Fist-rate, Tits reversNce—"'I know that; but you have made an I've’ licked-every man in the ass of yourself.” house next door. 3. —Git in de wagon, dere! See?” comicbooks.com