Judge, 1893-07-15 · page 6 of 16
Judge — July 15, 1893 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple short satirical pieces typical of late 19th-century American humor magazine *Judge*: **"A Prize Poem"** mocks lazy students and educational shortcuts—a boy wins a prize for describing Napoleon's genius as simply "Gall; That's all," rushing to play baseball instead of genuine study. **"Difference in Skulls"** is a crude joke playing on phrenological pseudo-science: two men colliding blame each other's head shape (one "hollow," one "cracked"). **"Very Extravagant"** satirizes wasteful spending on exposition buildings (likely the 1893 Chicago World's Fair), when nature already provides free exhibits. **"Legal Generosity"** uses irony—a lawyer claiming he charged nothing while actually taking 10% of the estate anyway. **"Hockheimer's Generosity"** employs ethnic dialect (German-Jewish character) for humor, describing stingy behavior presented as generosity: lighting one match per child on July 4th, then combining matches for twins to save money. The page emphasizes period obsessions: social climbing, financial trickery, and immigrant stereotypes.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE A PRIZE POEM. THe professor of literature, in order to tést his pupils" knowledge of prosody, offered a prize to the boy who would write in verse the best description of the quali- ties which made Napoleon Bonaparte such a successful general. The boy, who was in a hurry to get out t6 the base-ball field, handed in the following summary of Napoleon's char- acteristics : “Gall; That's all.” And that poem won the prize. AND PERHAPS ENJOYED ONE, Conductor—" Why did you seat this THE LATEST FAD IN COLLARS. Reversed, showing laundry-marks. DIFFERENCE IN SKULLS. (Smith and Brown collide in turning corner.) Ss1TH—" Oh, dear, how you did make my head ring !” Brown (testily)—*" That's a sign it’s hollow.” SauTH—"* Why, didn't your head ring?” it didn't.” ‘That's a sign it’s cracked.” VERY EXTRAVAGANT. 6 ¢ THERE'S an indication of this country’s extravagance,” said Dawson, pointing to the fisheries building, “What in thunder is the use of putting up a building like that to exhibit fish in when Nature herself has provided a free aquarium in Lake Michigan?” old lady in the smoking-car?* Trainman—* | saw she wore a weed.” NO PROFIT IN IT. Facty, Jr." L wisht I'd never come to de world’s fair. It ain't no good fer fellers in our line.” ARTFUL DONGER—"* In course it ain't. How in der world isa feller ever goin’ ter find der pockets uv jay heathens wot wear togs like dem round de corner?” BUSINESS INSTINCT. ‘6] SEE Bromley the tragedian is posted for house charges at the Thespian club. He ought not to be hard up.” “He isn’t. tisement.” He does that for the sake of the adver- PROMPTLY PUNISHED. Starter—"| met a man this morning who said I looked like you.” Smartley—" Tell me who he is and I'll go and knock him down.” Starter—"\ did that myself.” LEGAL GENEROSITY. ‘+ D)ID Lawyer Snakem charge you much for attending to the probate of your father’s will?” “Didn't charge us anything. He did it for nothing and made the heirs a present of ten per cent, of the value of the estate.” HOCKHEIMER'S GENEROSITY, Mrs. Hocknrimer— “Oh, yes; Mr. Hockheimer is very generous. On der fourth of July he lighted a match for each of der chiltren, und den he lighted h Hockheimer celebrating. two togedder for der dwins.” comicbooks.com