Judge — July 15, 1893 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE A TENDER POINT. + SYOU don’t mean to say that waiter re- fused a tip?” “Yes, I do.” “ How did it happen?” “When I offered him the money I said, ‘There's the price of a first-class shave.’” HIS DOUBLE DUTIES. Trivvet—" The medicine-men are also the educators of the Indians.” Dicer— How do you make that ou Trivvet— Because after a medicine, man‘has cured an Indian the patient becomes a well red man.” LITERAL. Patrick (just landed)—"* I's a great shame, it is, t' waste sich good liquor, is WHAT IS BETTER? says t’ pul ahs Kase y 3 FTER all is said and done, hi disobey him. > . 2 Le eater geen Ay F aN A What is better than a row (Please pronounce to rhyme with 0) AN OLD-TIME MAIL-CARRIER, A.D. 1400. HOW IT STRUCK HIM. Guest (registering ata sum- mer resort) —"I guess- you've made a mistake, haven't you?” Hotel - clerk —" Why, you asked for the register, didn’t you?” Guest—" Yes; but this looks like a Rhine wine-lis HER COMRADE-BOY. Mistress—" That young man who came to see you stayed rather late last night.” Bridget —" Yis, ma'am; he did.” Mistress—" Ah—he—is your THE PLOT DISCOVERED. & Open (dressing a suppored rabbit which some of the boys had sent T hed a suspishy, Hannah, w'en I seen dem claws, an’ now | rows / In the pleasant morning sun, With some bottled beer in tow ; With your luncheon in the stern, Waiting for its happy turn ; And your fish-line hanging free Where the shining sun-fish be And the water long-legs glide Knowingly from side to side ; Where the shadows from the trees Change their form with every breeze, And the water murmurs:jong, Like the cadence of a song— What is better than to {feat Smoothly in your well-rowed boat, With a comrade near at hand (Some green fellow from the land) Whio, like any ardent Turk, Lets you:loaf and does the work? tow su lover, I suppose?" Rabbits doan’ eat mouses—not 's a reg'lar diet.” Bridget—" Indade an’ he is not. He's a naybur's son frum th’ ould counthry, raised up at th’ dure wid me—jist a comrade- boy, that’s all.” Afistress—" But he is very fond of you. I heard him kiss you good-night quite plainly.” Bridget—"Shure an’ ye moight, fer it's little discraytion he has in that way. ‘And isn’t that his ring you wear?” it is,ma‘am. He sint it to me frum Kerry three years ago cum Aisther.”” Mistress—" Well; depend upon it, he will ask you to marry him one of these days.” Bridget—" Ab, thin, ma’am, Oi don't be’ thinkin’ he'll ask me agin, fer whoy should he?” Mistress—" Then he did ask you?” - Bridget—“Yis, ma'am. Oh, he’s noways backward in regar-rds av shpakin’ his moind.” Mistress—“ And what was your answer, Bridget?” Bridget—" Shure Oi tould him he'd be afther waitin’ tin months, iv'ry day av it, till we could lay by a bit av money, an’ he gev in t’ do that same.” Mistress—" Why, then, he #s your lover.” Bridget— No, ma‘am ; far frum it. Oi niver had a lovyer, ma‘am, first or lasht.” 5 3 F Sap know me. eh?’ Why, I'm yer cousin Silas frum the Mr. BUNCO-STRERER (toaif. Mistress— But you intend to marry him? kentry. [hed my money stole since I come to yer dod-. ing for another one)—" This Bridget—" Oi do, an’ thin he'll be me husband, an‘ that's _gasted town, an’ I wuz goin’ up ter borrer ten dollars scheme works beautiful. If 1 roight an‘ lawful. But Oi hov no toime t’ be foolin’ away wid Off Yer father. Vl jest walk up with yer.” |, meet a few mors dudes Ill be lovyers, an’ if Oi t'ought he had anny oidaya av th’ koind Oi'd pacer ted eta tls ech hae RE Seae ter amas eels pee eM ht Tl let you have the tenner. Now go away, like a good sind him mar-rchin’, so Oi wud.” MADELINE 5, BRIDGES. fellow a ¥ ON FIFTH AVENUE. Mr. Buxco-steerer (dressed like a farmer)— “Wa-al, wa-al, I’m right glad ter see yew. Don't comicbooks.com