Judge, 1893-07-08 · page 6 of 16
Judge — July 8, 1893 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Judge magazine (likely late 19th century, given stylistic references) contains several brief satirical sketches mocking human behavior and social types: **"Terribly Effective"** satirizes judicial leniency—a judge is shocked that a woman was struck with a pie, treating this absurdly as serious assault, while the policeman's deadpan delivery emphasizes the trivial weapon. **"Not True in His Case"** jokes about temperance messaging: a colonel claims drinking shortens life, but another man retorts he must have been meant to live thousands of years based on his consumption—mocking the temperance movement's moral arguments. **"Refreshment for Horses"** ridicules Irish stereotypes, suggesting an Irish driver disguises a whip as a business expense. **"He Wouldn't Be There"** depicts domestic life—a husband claims lodge attendance (possibly code for drinking) to avoid July Fourth celebration with his wife. Additional sketches contain wordplay and brief domestic humor typical of Judge's satirical style, poking fun at working-class life, Irish immigrants, and relationships.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
TERRIBLY EFFECTIVE, NOT TRUE IN HIS CASE. Justice—"Aren’t you ashamed of yourself? After this good woman fed Rev. Recuan Goopty—" Don't you know, my friend, that every drink you you turned around and struck her over the head. What weapon did he use, of that you take shortens your life five hours?" Officer?” Cotonet, OLcrow—" You don’t say? Well. sah, judgin’ by what I've Pouiceman—" Th’ pie she guv him, yer honor.” drunk of it, the Lord must have meant me to live about five thousand years.” “REFRESHMENT FOR HORSES.” [LJNDER the above heading in a list of journey expenses an Irish driver puts “Three pennyworth of whip-cord.” HE WOULDN'T BE THERE. Witherby— They are going to have a big time at the club to-night— a fourth-of-July celebration.” Mrs. Witherby—"1 know what that means. I hope you are not going. my dear.” Witherby— Of course not. I've got to attend a lodge-meeting.” Tamia LAT it FLAat-nuNTER— Tie Janttor—" Wi 'yes on that sign.” THE HEAD FRO} Mr. Sweeps !"” Tie Jantror— ? HEAD PROM THE DOOR—"' The doctor sends his con- gratulations and says it's a boy, sir.” ANOTHER NATIONALITY. . syouR new maid is a brunette, is she not, Mrs. Parting- ton?” “Oh, no. She's French.” SURE TO BURST. OW when he takes his cannon up His chance of life is stim ; For, like the drunkard with his cup, He fills it to the brim. HE DIDN’T GO. Brown—"I'm going fishing, Johnnie, so as to avoid the noise of the fourth. I'd take you along with me if I knew ONE WAY OF ANNOUNCING IT. . how you could amuse yourself.” Mas. GAGAN—" It's the foine, dacint, quiet boy Murty Floogan is, an’ it nigh broke th ae a ‘ i heart av him t° foind his father full’at Minchy’s lasht noight.” Little Jaknnie—" That's easy enough, pa. Buy me a Mrs. Horritv— Did anny wan ilse fale it?” cannon and a lot of fire-crackers.” Mrs, GAGAN—"* Vis; th’ ould man, He died this marnin’ comicbooks.com