Judge — July 8, 1893 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE 5 NOT THAT KIND. 4 6THEY must have used old-fashioned cannon to fire the salutes the other day,” said Barker. “They all said boom’ when they went off, but not one of them added ‘de ay."” REVOLUTIONARY. She—She scems to dislike that practical, unpretentious cousin of He—Yes; doesn’t speak to him now.” He—Well, she went to the colonial ball as her great-great-grand- mother, Lady Dixon, and he went as her great-great-grandfather, the patriot blacksmith.” FAST DAY. Mr. Blumenthal—Vot's dis | ear, Moses, aboud you eading two raw eggs on Yom Kippur?" Mr. Blenkenstein—"\ did not ead ‘em. 1 vos chvoir-leater, unt I shwallowed ‘em to clear my voize—unt von vos shpoiled anyvay.”* ARE SELDOM WHAT THEY SEEM. Miss Lipprtr—" Those brokers are always so fascinating to me. Just think how one little mark on the tape may mean ruin or affluence to that broker inside!" Tousey (Lacy’s floor-tramp, inside)—"* Roaring cash! it's going to rain to-morrer, an’ I'll have t' blow Mame in for a pair of rubbers an’ hoss-car fares if we take in th’ picnic,” IT MAKES A DIFFERENCE. ‘© AREN'T you afraid of the electricity?” asked the inquisitive pas- senger of the motorman. “No; but the man who collects the fares is.”" “Isn't it strange that he should be afraid and you not?” “Not at all. You see, I'm a non-conductor.” THE TROUBLED ONE MORE UNFORT- MOTHER. UNATE, THOUGH patriotic in her way THEY find him where he moaning lies No pleasant memory lingers And in his bed they tuck him, About the fourth; that was the day He tried to celebrate the day, Her son lost all his fingers. And never knew what struck him, LACK OF EDUCATION. KING TOTUM CRAVES FOR BETTER FOOD. Woman—* What is that man in the street calling out?” Scrinr—" Oh, king, live forever! The morning paper says the new ad- Girl—"1 don’t know whether it's charcoal or strawberries.” ministration is replacing the foreign ministers with ambassadors.” Woman—"1 should think by this time you ought to be able to tell KING ELST aM: ake ‘clean papyruscand [erie rablostaillusteious, che g president'—got that?—'send us an ambassador, Our royal appetite is cloyed the difference between charcoal and strawberries.’ ith missi g DOWNS AND UPS. Banker Sitares—"* You'll pardon me, Hepson, but I must ask you not to Hersox—“‘All right, old man; just as you say. But’as a last favor won't ognize me on the street any more. Of course I pity your misfortunes, and you advise me where to deposit this draft for fifty thousand pounds? I received had lots of good times together ; but your—er—appearance is somewhat it from my uncle's executors in England. this morning and thought for a mo- nst you and I can't afford to continue the acquaintance.” ment of opening an account with your house.” comicbooks.com