Judge — May 6, 1893 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

By the day. MATRIMONIALS AS THEY SHOULD BE. MIDDLE-AGED man who has never been able to earn a decent living would like to get hold of some property by marrying a well-to-do widow. Address“ Layoff," this office. An indiscreet and foolhardy maiden of twenty would like to make the acquaintance of a feather-brained dude, matrimonially inclined. Ob- ject, future misery. Address “*Clem- intina,” Matrimonial bureau, box 8. A man of economical habits and saving disposition seeks the acquaint- ance of a capable woman who would be willing to become his wife, house- keeper, washer-woman, nurse, and general servant. No triflers need apply. “J. Klosperz,” Jersey City. A talented and shrewd young lady, who has written a play and would like to bring it out, desires to meet a wealthy young man who would be willing to assist her with money and to enact the part of an 7 JUDGE idiot generally. Answer through matrimonial column, Star. I am a Jewish gentleman of methodical business habits and anxious to acquire command of a larger capital. I would marry any sort of woman, of any age or appearance, in considera- tion of the sum of eleven thousand four hundred and forty-three dollars and sixty-nine cents. No discount. Apply to “Israel Jacobs,” — Grand street, New York. A bachelor (thrice divorced) is desirous of marrying a pretty and amiable lady who would not inquire too closely into his past life, and who would be willing to devote herself to making him happy for any period of time he might choose to indicate, to be terminated by mutual separation. Only persons of the highest respect- ability need respond to this. “J. W. B,,” p.o. box—. od eyed | ! OVICULAR, “*Whad yo’ doin’ roun’ heah, ‘Rastus?” “ Nuffin’, sah.” “Whar did dat chicken cum frum?” “Whar did it cum fram? Why, cum frum a aig. ‘spose chickens cum frum, anyhow?” THE ONLY REASON, * What a lot of bright colors that parrot has!" Lie—" I guess he must have been hatched out of an Easter-egg.”” ‘shoes so fast.” Whar did yo" MISAPPLIED PRACTICE. « No game to-day, sir?” *No, James; I didn’t kill o thing. ‘BuTTONs—"' There wus nine patients here to-day. You might better ‘ave stayed home, sir.” QUEER IF HE HADN'T. +e THIS litle khedive of Egypt is adandy. He seems to have sand.” “Well, why shouldn't he have with the Sahara at his back door?” A PROSPECTIVE PLEAS- URE. HE WAS a doughty warrior ; He'd traveled far and wide. To her he talked of Waterloo, Sevastopol beside ; Of Balaklava, Tel- El-Kebir, Scenes of carnage red. “Ob, you'll s0 enjoy our stockyards !" The Chicago maiden said. KATE MM, CLEARY. A WOMAN'S YES. Giles—"A statistical fiend has figured out that there are twenty-five ways of telling whether a girl loves you.” De Garry—" The first, of course, is whether she tells you so.” Giles— at all.” ECONOMY, Oup Ecxstein—" Take longer shteps, Ikey, so you von't vear oud your comicbooks.com