Judge, 1893-05-06 · page 5 of 16
Judge — May 6, 1893 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects several short satirical pieces typical of 19th-century Judge magazine humor: **"The Judge's Dictionary"** offers mock definitions of abstract concepts—sardonic wordplay rather than political commentary. **"Heading Him Off"** satirizes editorial practices, suggesting tariff editorials were so common that editors used article backside space for their own pieces. **"Seasonable and Reasonable"** mocks a druggist's inflated pricing by itemizing every minor component (box, label, string) to justify costs—social satire on commercial greed. **Irish immigrant dialogue** ("Be aisy, Moike McMahon") depicts stereotypical Irish accents, reflecting period prejudices about Irish workers and their aspirations to political office ("alderman"). **"Practice Enough"** and other shorts make light domestic humor about Welsh names being consonant-heavy, absent-minded parenting, and misunderstandings. The page prioritizes **general humor over specific political targets**, focusing instead on class commentary, ethnic stereotypes, and everyday absurdities common to late 19th-century American life.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE THE JUDGE'S DIC- TIONARY. Chance—The mask of fate. Speech—The envoy of the soul. Happiness—The soul's ca- loric. Theory—A patchwork of deductions. Baby—The crystallized em- blem of a kiss. Art—The step-mother of _Nature’s children, ; Genius—The speaking- ay AYE GKOSe prampes‘of ‘the gods ‘Be aisy. Moike McMahon, Oi'll artist yez whin EATHRINE CRORTEAM:: we land in New York, fer be an th’ foorce.” “Niver moind, Jimmie. It's mesilf will be an HEADING HIM OFF. alderman an’ forbid th’ arrist.” Kickshaw—" Why do you write on both sides of the paper? No editor will print your articles prepared in that manner.” Dimmick— Quite likely; but then no editor will get a chance to write tariff edi- torials on the back of them.” SEASONABLE AND REASONABLE, Afiss Marshmallow (to young Leech, druggist) — How much is it?" Young Leech (computing)—“ Blue mass five, box ten, label and wrapper five, pink string five—twenty-five. Thirty cents, please. Nice weather.” THEY PACKED TOO MUCH. —"* Hurry and pack the trunk, ‘¢ have only ten minutes to catch A POINT FOR PHILOL- OGISTS. ‘sPDAPA, what is conso- nance?” “Harmony, my boy.” “I don’t see how that can be. Welsh names are all con- sonants and there isn’t any har- y in them.” PRACTICE ENOUGH. Stage-manager—" Have you ever had any experience as walk- ing gentleman Applicant—"Have 1? Well, I'm the father of two sets of twins and three single infants.” ** Better stamp on it and get it locked, — DIPHTHERETIC. Keeper —“Animals tender? I should say so. Why, the tiger got a cold in bis lungs the day of the parade and died, and now the giraffe ’s laid up with a cold too.” Visitor —" Where did he get his?” Keeper —“In the neck.” THAT WOULD DO AS WELL. Mullins (pen in hand) —" Give me a word which means the same as idio- syncrasy.”” Barlow (who does not know a synonym)— “Why, that’s a good word to use.” Mullins (desperate- SAMMIE FORGOT. Now, Sammie, come say your prayers.” its : i lay me down—down—down—down—came a !y)—"" Then how do you Hus ck-bird and picked off his nose.” spell it?” away in it—tickets too,” D—'* Great Scott! my pants and shoes went comicbooks.com