Judge — May 6, 1893 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A CHICAGO SIDE-SHOW. Barker—' Here you are, sir! The greatest won- der at the fair, sir! Within’ this tent sits Terence Callahan, the only living man who has drunk buttermilk made from a churning of cream skimmed from the milk given by O'Leary's cow, that kicked over the lamp that set Chicago on fire. Ilere you are! ‘Tickets only five dimes, two quarters, fifty cents or half a dollar.” LIGHT ARTILLERY. AEE small boys advocate felt slippers. ‘The eye is the thermometer of the soul. A cynic is a man who must be unhappy to be happy. A man is judged by the cigars he gives to his friends. The casiest thing in the world is not to become a millionaire. A critic isn’t always right, but the critics are never wrong. Success, like charity and a silk hat, covers a multitude of sins. Anybody can write poetry. Only a great man can criticise it, Darwin —" We are all descended from Ham.” Spencer—" Or eggs.” The astronomer knows almost as much about ‘Space as the reporter. | ia Mh Ten A TERRIBLE BORE. Woor—'* Nat Sewell is getting to be a terrible bore.” Mrs. vaN Peit—" In what particular?” Woot — ‘I asked after his heaith this morning, and he sat down and told me all The most, fetching thing in the world—A re- triever. He'll fetch anything. The school-master is abroad. That is why Tammany is in clover. Some actors when they play the villain assume amask. Others unconsciously tear it off. Queen Victoria will send all the books she has written to the world’s fair. So will L. Jean Libby. The difference between Mrs. James Brown Potter and Judge Lynch— She wants to elevate the stage; he, the stage robber. Shakespeare wrote for alt time, Tennyson for our time, Whitcomb Riley for summer time, and ‘Walt Whitman for some other time. JON ERNEST Me CANN. “DON'T.” BOSTON maid and a New York boy Stood upon the ball-room floor. Said the Boston maid, ‘* Iave you read Kant 2” And she gravely eyed him o'er. “Don’t you mean ‘ Don't'?” asked the New York boy— And now they don’t speak any more. THE INCONSISTENCY OF THE ENGLISIL LANGUAGE. ** Look out, down there!" “Yah” “Dunder und lightnings ! : ven you means look in?” Vat for you say lock oud, comicbooks.com