Judge — April 1, 1893 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

APPEARANCES ARE DECEITFUL, ELotse (in her new empire gown}—" Dear me, uncle, this is an unexpected pleasure! Did you just arrive from Hayforks centre?” Uncte ApNer—" Ya-as, but you'll have to excuse me. 1 didn’t think you'd be going to bed so early as this.”” Four YEARS HENCE the remark of Senator Benton, “ There is such THE DIRT-FLIES. a thing as being too infernally Democratic,” will impress itself on the Q-TATE SENATOR O'CONNOR speaks of the “dirteflies"” who fol- understanding of the people of these states. S lowed Mr. Blaine to his grave, and a few of whom are trying to Me smirch the whiteness of his memory with their minute exudations. It is WOMEN WHO RIDE bicycles are said to lose the art of walking amazing that a man so great, so charitable in judgment, so gentle and gracefully. These things are regulated at birth. The lady who generous, so loving and lovable, should have had such persistent is born graceful will remain so if she rides two wheels at once. ‘THE MUGWUMP has such a hearty contempt for poli- tics that he apologizes to him- self every time he has to do with it, and yet he is never so happy as when he is drawing a large official salary. fe ba ce THE WORLD has forgotten General Bragg, who loved Cleveland for the enemies he achieved; and in saying this we do not forget that larger part of the world which is known as Mr. Cleveland his magnificent self. WHETHER WOMAN should enlarge herself with the aid of the hoop is mat- ter for argument, but most men know that she is never so charming as during the totally opposite experience called the squeeze. s THE CHURCH PEOPLE of Lithonia, Georgia, tried to get out an injunction against a military ball, and failing, started a prayer-meeting in opposition to it, The efficacy of prayer is put to some severe tests by pious foolishness, but there ought to be common sense enough to enemies, and it is no compliment to their egotism that though they were as one to ninety-and-nine they grew more bitter as they grew AN UNRIGHTEOUS MEMBER. older; but the mean little buzz- ers followed Lincoln and Grant and Washington quite as dili- gently and with as little harm. The traduced grow greater as the years go by, and of the traducers there will presently be not so much left as the dirt they rubbed upon their garments. CUBAN STUPIDITY. THE CUBAN does not dis- criminate with sufficient analysis. Whoever has seen a female base-ball nine play has seen no good ball-playing, but has had fun enough in an hour to last him a month, No woman can catch a ball in her apron, much less with her hands ; and the batting and running of a female base-ball nine are as ridiculous as a waltz by a pair of elephants. Yet in Havana the other day a ball-game by a female American team and a local team was voted a humbug, and the girls were actually mobbed. One expects ordinary gallantry from a Cuban, but if he can’t have that he certainly wen't forgive him for being a ruffian and a fool; and we are forced to announce that the an- Prevent its knocking-out in per- DEACON Crooiny (on the bank)—"* Swash dat foot down too, pahson! Dat’s de Rexation of Cuba is indefinitely fectly hopeless competition. ‘one whad’s got de cohrn on it whad meks Unk!’ Caleb swat so.” postponed. comicbooks.com