Judge — April 1, 1893 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

coRy, TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. ONFTED STATES AND CAKADA, IM ADVANCE One copy. one year, or s2 numbers - $5.00 One copy, six months. or 26 pumbers = 3 One copy. for 13 weexs = Including the Cxmisrm FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—Te all for ‘gn countries tm the fottad wuion, THE JuDoE PUBLISHING COMPANY (Juvce BurLpING), Cor. Fifth Ave. and 16th Street. New York. CO We gw cal paper prt The Jo Co., 25 Ne je advertisers a larger circulation tham any other American satire is for sale at Brentans's, ste street, Strans Avenue dePOpera, Paris: Smith, Ainslee & Lon: ed; at Saarbach's News Exchange. 2 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Junce are protected by copz- right in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. M* GRESHAM has a composite mind. eee THAT WILL be well that ends Maxwell —D. B. Hill eee M®: CLEVELAND on civil-service reform—"1 may and you must’ ees, AstoTt ATIONS between Hill and Cleveland, we don’t be- lieve there are any. [f IS NO BARGAIN that sends Pusey Gray to Mexico, It is a dispensation of Providence. eee HE CHIEF FOOL of the first of April is the Democrat who expects favors from Grover Cleveland. THis CITY having survived the Hoke-Smith business in the Sum, we guess it can stand considerable cholera. SHARPNESS TO YOUR AXE, Robert Maxwell. The ins have been voted out and the outs have been voted in. AS EARTHQUAKE in this city e+ cently was so feeble in its rum- blings that many mothers thought the baby had the colic. see N EX-GOVERNOR is lecturing on the model husband, We have seen that domestic miracle somewhere, but isn’t he dead ? THE PENITENCE of the last forty days has been profound and profit- able, but some of it must inevitably run right on to the latter part of “ninety-six QN THE FIRST of April, Colonel Watterson, go to the post-office and get a request from the president to represent this government at Patagonia, ny THE SWEETNESS with which Hill and Murphy voted to confirm the cabinet had the appearance of a delicious preserved plum, but there was an awfal pill in it. HE: PRESIDENT has his old contempt for the man who seeks public office, but if he can get a third term it is Secretary Gresham's opinion that he ought to take it. E£ WAV the public runs to the nursery department of his young-lady con- temporary of the white-house. see HE GIRLS of a Boston young ladies’ school cheered Kaiulani to the echo and then surreptitiously remarked that she missed freckles only because of a dark complexion UNIVERSAL, * Begob! it's great respict ivery wan has fer Oireland. invintion in this counthry js marked Pat, begob !”” all respect for Baby Bissell, but most of the affection of - HARLES DE LESSEPS says he did not bribe; he submitted to extortion. It doesn’t help him any, but that is the precise definition. The scoundrels who robbed him are worse than he. eee N NEW ORLEANS the other day the Hon. Mr. Fitzsimmons knocked a man out and made forty thousand dollars in fifteen minutes. The date of this theatrical star's first appearance’ is not announced, but we believe he has begun to write a book. A GREAT QUESTION. BRAM S. HEWITT believes the time has come for governments to regulate the amount of money a man may control. Mr. Hewitt has a great deal of money himself, but he is that courageous and fair that he would stand up for fair play if that led to the loss of every dollar of it. NO SUBTERFUGE, THE PEOPLE voted that a tariff was unconstitutional and must be repealed. The president says it is unfortunate and must be. miti- gated. To the ordinary mind the conservative view is the best; but what then becomes of that majestic thing, to which the president has pledged his life, his fortune and his sacred honor, the will of the people? The ‘Sun is right. Sink or swim, live or die, survive or perish, the people must have their way. DOES HE HATE THE STAGE? LBRIDGE T. GERRY is merciful to such children as do not need his mercy, and merciless to those who do. He belongs to the puiritan period, and his is the kindness and the piety that kill. His zeal is not without good intentions; but be would stumble over a starving child to take from the stage one, unavoidably treat- ed with kindness, guilty of the crime of pleasing the public and thereby earning its own living. This is cruel- ty to children, and. there has been too much of it. PRECEDENT. WHY SHOULD MEN be afraid to do things ‘that“have no prece- dent? The new idea is not always to be despised, and a great many prece- dents are bad. If Noah had had the overwhelming respect for, precedent that most persons have he wouldn't have built his ark. If the Almighty had been thus afflicted we shouldn't have had Adam or Eve, or anybody or anything else. Precedent, prece- dent! Is precedent an iron-clad law? Because Cain killed Abel with a club is ita double crime to kill with poison TWery new or a revolver? HAIL, EASTER, HAIL! Tus EASTER isa resurrection from the hardest, meanest winter the country has known these many cycles and a few zons. The’ year emerges from it with mud on its shoes, with bedraggled garments, with influenza written on its inflamed countenance, with chaps on its hands, a sneeze to its utterances, and rage and misery in its blazing eyes. Wel- come, Easter! Welcome, anything that brings a change! Bring flowers if possible; roll out such of your music as has survived the grip; bring youth and beauty if you happen to have any; but for thé love of ‘heaven bring a change! We're not avaricious, That's good enough for us. HOW TO SHOOT A GUN. HERE 1S TALK of a revolution in Hawaii in bebalf of the ex-queen. But the time for these things is the moment of the emergency that invites them, and the queen's soldiery ought to have shot off its gun be- fore her-majesty had been formally deposed. The revolutionists remind one of the remarkable weapon that had a habit of hanging fire. The farmer set it at night for a woodchuck that came out of its hole at six o'clock in the morning, pulled the trigger, and went to bed. He arose at two minutes before six, and the woodchuck was coming out, but the gun didn’t go off. He ran for the woodchuck, and as it turned about and dis- appeared in the hole he hastily leaned over and caught it by the tail. Just then the weapon went off and the farmer got the charge in his rear. comicbooks.com