Judge, 1893-01-14 · page 5 of 18
Judge — January 14, 1893 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* contains several short humor pieces typical of late 19th-century American satirical magazines: **"A Lover's Plight"** mocks romantic paradox: a suitor cannot win—compliments make his beloved accuse him of exaggeration, yet restraint makes her think him indifferent. The satire targets both overwrought courtship rhetoric and women's perceived inconsistency. **"A Thankful Man"** jokes about Irish immigrants (indicated by dialect "sor" and "Oi"), depicting a policeman grateful for help but fleeing confrontation. **"Used Him Up"** satirizes commercial exploitation of working-class men: a charity-seeking vagrant rejects food but accepts cigars, which the conductor blames for making the engineer unreliable. **"The Taint Removed"** mocks social climbing: having a tramp father is preferable to a soap-maker grandfather for gaining elite social status. Remaining pieces target workplace incompetence, church etiquette violations, and childhood behavior—all presented as gentle, domestic humor rather than political commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE A LOVER'S PLIGHT. H, IF I call my Cynthia sweet, Or if to Juno I compare her ; If I declare there's none so neat, ‘That not a maid on earth is fairer, She says that I exaggerate, ‘That I am bent on poetizing, And then—oh, most unlucky fate— She pouts in manner most surprising. Ah, if my feelings I restrain And in no ardent manner woo her ‘The fickle maiden pouts again And says that I'm indifferent to her. I'm sure that an anluckier youth Than I ‘twere difficult to discover, So hard a task it is, in sooth, To play the rdle of Cynthia's lover ! MATHAS 31, LEVY, A THANKFUL MAN. +s POLICEMAN, there's a fight around the corner.” “Thank ye, sor. Oi'll do as much fer ye some day.” And he POPULAR SONG skips in the opposite direction. “There's music in the USED HIM UP. Passenger — “What's the mat- HE HAD BEEN THERE. ter, conductor? ALL-NiGHT Bi.—"* Say, boss, can't yer help a poor feller along?” Why doesn't _ th Mr. Givers—" Why, yes. Here's a nice lunch that my wile ideas S79 made.” train start? ALL-NiGHT Bitt—"' No, you don’t. I've been there before.” Conductor —“1 am afraid we may have to wait here for several hours yet. We've got to telegraph back for another engineer.” Passenger —" Why, what's the matter with the engineer we had?” Conductor—*The train-boy gave him a cigar at the last station.” THE TAINT REMOVED. Primus—*How did Dodson get into the four hundred? His grandfather was a soap-maker.”" Secundus—* But he proved that his father was a tramp.” A SURPRISING PROCEDURE. Tommy Cubbage (at the Sunday-dinner table)—"* Mrs. Tillinghast had her knitting at church this morning.” Mrs. Cubbage (shocked)—" What on earth was she knitting in church?” Tommy—" Her brows.” FOR EXPORT ONLY. . * MARRIAGES are made in heaven,” DISCOUNTING FATE. - Witte NoLan—"I wish you would give me a good quoted the moralizer. lickin’ right now. “No doubt,” returned the demoral- TRACRER—" Why, Willie; what have you done?” izer, “But they are not recognized after, Witte Notan—* Nothin’; but there's goin’ to be a circus in town to-morrow an’ I want to enjoy it without any disturbing thought,” —1'll wind him up.— —I never had such fun.”"—— A WRONG CALCULATION, comicbooks.com