Judge — January 14, 1893 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

wan av thim ar-rtists fallin’ in love wid a gir-rl's purty face an’ wantin’ t'mek-a picther av her t’ wanst. ‘They mek me toired.” Wuearty—" But, Johanna, fhrue, Whin they’see a hand- some face they want ut, Wan av thim offered me fifty cints t'let‘em dhraw me face only yistherday.” THE NEWSPAPER OF THE FUTURE. Reporter (rushing in breath- lessly) —*Get out that ‘blew- out-the-gas’ electrotype.” Foreman—"\ have it. What are the inserts? Name first.” Reporter—"James Mul- laney.”* Foreman where?” Reporter —" Skowhegan.” Foreman—" What hotel?” ‘es. Lives inserts are all in no And this is what appeared in the morning : BLEW OUT THE Gas. James Mullaney of Skow- hegan blew out the gas at the Grand hotel yesterday. About eleven p.m. one of the employés A PROFESSIONAL BEAUTY. Mrs, Wiearty—"' Here’s anither shtory in Katie's paper about JUDGE A LOST LETTER. L'TTLE EMERY, three years old, has just discovered the letter A, and finds it in displayed newspaper advertisements, on bill-boards and in many other. places, much to his sur- prise. But the other day he found one in the most out-of-the-way place, and this time surprised his hearers by pointing to an M and saying, “There's an A in there and it can't get out.” He referred to one-half of the M, which, although minus the cross-bar, looked like A to him. FIVE AND ANOTHER ONE. . SWHAT is this sixth sense I have read so much about lately ?” “I don’t know, unless it is nonsense.” THE COURT ADJOURNED. Uncte Henry—" Willie, I hear you were suspended from Sunday-school right after the Columbus tableaux?” Wittie—" Yes, sir. 1 was Columbus in th’ tableaux an’ I had ter show th’ Spanish court how to make a egg stand on its end.” Uncte Hen! But why were you sus- pended ? Wituie—"* Fer nothin’. known the egg was bad?" How could I have of the hotel noticed the odor of escaping gas and finally traced it to Mullaney’s room. unconscious form on the bed. A CROSS-PATCH, The door was broken in and every effort was made to resuscitate the ‘The man will die. THE AMBULANCE REPORTER. VERY newspaper has its telephone re- porter and its kodak reporter—men who rush through an assignment and take chances rather than follow it to the end; but a greater has appeared in one newspaper office. He was sent to interview a Chambers-street hos- pital ambulance-surgeon, and he rang in a call for the ambulance from a popular all- night pharmacy. Then he interviewed the surgeon at his leisure. A SUPPOSITITIOUS CASE, Powell— Tut for your birth you would be my equal Howell—"Ves; if 1 had never been born I suppose I should be a nonentity n i Mrs. Liprr lanl ih 1 wi lh \ Item from the latest society novel— “And Gustavus Adolphus diligently press- ed his suit.” THROUGH STAINED GLASS. N_ THE window of a fashion- able saloon on Broadway is the following definition of the business carried on, painted on a swinging glass sign : “ Interior decorations.” THE ONLY REASON. THE small boy with his little sled Now seeks the icy hill, And if he isn’t picked up dead It's ‘cause he’s hard to kill. HIS NEW SUIT. Mrs. Gazsam—" Here's a sample of the cloth my hus- band’s new suit will be made of.” Mrs, Bloobumper —" Does he like it?” Mrs. Gazzam—" Not exact- ly; but it matches my walking- dress so perfectly I decided to get it.” THE BURNING ISSUE. “Whad yo’ gwine t' call de chile, Missis Lippincott?" oTT—"" Well, Jeems ain’ deciden yit ‘tween George Washington, Christopho C’lumbus, an’ John Wanamaker. ered um, one defended um, an’ one’s tryin’ to own um.” One discov- comicbooks.com