Judge, 1892-12-17 · page 6 of 18
Judge — December 17, 1892 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct pieces of humor: **"His Christmas Wish"** depicts a working-class father's emotional vulnerability. Written in dialect, the poem reveals a man's longing for his children to believe *he* is Santa Claus—to credit him with Christmas magic rather than attributing it to Sandy Claus. The satire gently mocks male sentimentality while exploring class anxiety: a poor man cannot compete with the mythic gift-giver, only with practical provisions. **"The Phonographic Quartette"** appears to be a brief Irish-dialect joke about a man (McHarty) using a phonograph to perform music, promising whiskey payment—likely satirizing early recording technology or Irish stereotypes. **"Relative Distant"** is a short joke playing on "pedigree": when asked if someone has one, the response reveals absurdly distant family connections (a wife's brother's cousin), mocking pretensions to aristocratic lineage. "Maud S." was likely a famous racehorse of the era, making the comparison humorous. The cartoons throughout employ working-class and ethnic dialects typical of Judge's approach to humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE HIS CHRISTMAS WISH. IT WZ ‘tarnal strange, you'll all allow, An credit me, It wa'n't no meanness—that I swow—nur jealousy ; But every time thet C’rismus come thet odd I wuz I wish’t th’ y'unguns 'd think I knew ol’ Sandy Cluz. Lallus got right nervous-like th’ day afore, An’ mebbe showed it w'en we gander’d round th’ store A-buyin’ nuts an’ candy an’ etsettyruz ‘T''make th’ y’unguns think still more o' Sandy Cluz. An’ w'en we'd stirred th’ y'unguns’ stumps up-stairs t’ bed An’ crammed their stockia’s full o' stuff, an’ stood th’ sled Right in th’ chimbly-corner, I tell you I wuz Jes’ wishin’ they'd suspek I knew ol’ Sandy Cluz, Mos’ y‘unguns like their pop an’ mammy both right well, An’ C’rismus mornin’ how they hug an’ laugh an’ yell An’ kiss you wile they male you taste o' things. But duz Their love fer you seem like their love fer Sandy Cluz?-_ 5, 4. wavvrow. THE PHONOGRAPHIC QUARTETTE. McHarxtry—Arrah! th’ loikes av yez could not be found. Now sing * Kocky roads 0° Dublin’ an’ Or'll pay fer th’ pwhisky fer all av yez.” TO MADELINE S. BRIDGES. [7 MAY be but a tender little shyme About a cowslip, or a violet ‘That nestles by the brook, blue-eyed and wet ; A crimson rose, ablush in southern clime; A laugh, a song, a merry Cliristmas chime Thrilled through and through with tears ; a pearl regret Within a chain of hope’s bright rubies set— Or it may be a passion grand, sublime. But oh, whate’er it be, sweet singer, sing ! Asa glad lark across the reeded mere Sings for a lonelier one with broken wing And lets his notes swell sweet with hope and cheer, Sing thou, for in thy song one ever hears Faith and a tremulous laughter through thy tears. RLLA Miccinson. RELATIVE DISTANT, say dat he hab a pedigree ?* €s, indeed. His wife’s brudder wuz fus’ cousin t’ Maud S.” SMITIT BUILT A FIRE INSIDE THE TENT TO KEEP HIMSELF WARM. comicbooks.com