Judge, 1892-12-17 · page 7 of 18
Judge — December 17, 1892 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple brief comedic sketches satirizing American social types and immigrant stereotypes common in 1890s humor: **"A Martinet of a Teacher"** mocks overly strict instructors with absurd rules (forbidding gloves while cleaning chickens). **"A Serious Fault"** jokes that color-blindness would be the *only* thing preventing an artistically mediocre son from succeeding—implying nepotism and low standards in the art world. **"Had Him There"** features a con-artist phrenologist (fake skull-reader) with a witty comeback to a farmer's insult about carrying a plaster head. **"Heard at a Town-Meeting"** satirizes Irish-American political participation through thick dialect, suggesting they're separate from "Americans" despite citizenship. **"The Pneumatic Tire"** presents Irish characters marveling at bicycle pneumatic tubes, with one attributing the rejuvenating effect to beer rather than air. **"A Great Curiosity"** praises New York's only person drinking boiled water during cholera—dryly implying the city's terrible sanitation. The humor relies on ethnic caricature and class mockery typical of period satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE A MARTINET OF A TEACHER. ++ }JOW is your cooking-class getting along, “I don't know. “Indeed? Why?” “The teacher wouldn't let me wear gloves when I was cleaning chickens.” A SERIOUS FAULT. $6)0 YOU think my son will ever make an artist?” TWO SOULS WITHOUT A SINGLE asked a fond parent of the replied the teacher cautiously, “I think there would not be the slightest doubt of his becoming a great artist if he were not unfortunately color-blind.” FORCED TO IT. Bunker—1 have just been reading Roman history, and it seems that the Emperor Elagabalus used to dress up as a woman.” Hill— What did he do that for?” Bunker—It is supposed that his wife got in the habit of hanging up his clothes in her wardrobe.” “Oh, Jake, boot dose eggs in der incubator, und dose dot don'd make shickens ve vill yoost baint feer Easter.” HAD HIM THERE, A RATHER seedy-looking individual, one of the large army who live on their wits, was working the smaller towns of the Fort Worth and Denver city railway as a phrenologist and was waiting at the depot for his train to come. He was walking up and down the platform with his plaster-cast head in a bag under his arm, A young farmer who had been making fun of him said Sotto voce, ; j “I don't have to make my living by carrying’ a plaster head under ." replied the seedy phrenologist; ‘you carry your plaster head on your shoulders.” HEARD AT A TOWN-MEETING, . *MISTHER MODERATOR, Oi move yez thot a committee of twinty be app'inted—tin Dimycrats an’ tin Americans. THE GARDEN-FENCE. Raspnerey —“' Well, I_guess dat's anodder krokay piece 0’ tomfoolery agin. I wondah how dey plays hit?” OH, THESE SIMILES! ££G0 YOU don’t like to go out in a row-boat since your narrow escape from drowning ?” “Noy you know that a burnt child dreads the fire.”” THE PNEUMATIC TIRE. Whaten—"Thim bicickles is a great convaynience. Oi think Oi'll git wan t’ go ¢' th’ world’s fair.” Reilly—" How's thot?” IWhalen—"Oi saw a man climb down afther a long. ride-an’ he jist puta tube th’ belt av th’ wheel, Thin he drew a long breath an’ shtood up loike a new man.” Reilly —* Phwat do yez. think was in it?” Whalen— Beer.” A GREAT CURIOSITY. oe W HO is this man?” asked a vis- itor to the dime - museum, “I don’t see anything freaky about him.” = “That man,” replied the lecturer, BUNCO AGAIN, “is the only citizen in New York who STATION-MASTE! “* What are you sitting here for? You've been around drank boiled water during the cholera the Station for three 4 Uncte Sias—"'T loaned a man four dollars in here las’ Tuesday an’ he 4 GOOD THING FoR MosquIToES, — scare. tol’ me to sit here until he brought it back.” comicbooks.com