Judge — October 22, 1892 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

264 HIS JOKE RECOILED. s6] HEAR that Miss Flypp has at last got engaged to young Scadds,” said Hunker to Spatts. “Yes; and the way it was done is the best joke on Scadds I've heard of in many a day.” “ How was it?” “Well, he read in the paper about a man in New Orleans who wore a card on his breast with the word ‘yes’ printed on it in big letters, thus shutting off people from asking if it was hot enough for him.” “I see. Good idea, that.” “So Scadds thought. When the last hot spell came along he thought he would imitate the New Orleans man. He was in great glee over the satisfactory working of his little scheme un- til Miss Flypp saw it.” What happened then?” “She looked at it a while and then burst out, ‘Why, what an accommodating man you are, Mr. Scadds! How easy you make it for a girl who has long worshiped you in silence and is too bashful to take advantage of her leap-year privileges! Your consent makes me supremely happy. Suppose we set a month from to-day as the date of the ceremony?” With that she threw her arms around the neck of the young man, and he was hers. WILLIAM HRY SIVETI, NEVER LACKS INSPIRATION. THE POET often struggles for Ideas without avail ‘The novelist gets sluggish and His efforts often fail, The playwright finds it very hard To think up something new ; And the journalist gets weary ere work is half-way through, But there's one whose thoughts can cover All the foolscap on the shelf— He's the actor who is writing up A notice of himself. DIVORCED woman is either a heart-broken woman or a heart- ‘Orsicue « ofer a rat, unt dey a A NARROW ESCAP Weary Watke! " love ov rest ! Wot's de matter wid yer hair?" WANDERING WADKIN: Fright is wot did it. Yer see, I got mixed in wid a lot ov strikers down at de works and dey was ordered by de walkin’ dele- gate to go to work, an’ bein’ took fer one ov ‘em I came near havin’ to disgrace de profesh.” DOWN MOTT-STREET WAY. METHOD. ELpek Berky—" Joblots has taken charge of the church finances ; his first step was to provide each of the ushers with a pair of squeaky shoes and a pair of felt slippers.” Mrs. Bexry E * What is the object of all that?” . = "he shoes are to be worn before the collection is taken, and the slippers afterward.” FORTUNE. SUDDEN fortune came to me. T bought a mansion fair to see. * The horrid thing! Behold her pride,” My friends and neighbors scoffing cried, In haste to call on me. My fortune vanished in a day. T heard my friends and neighbors say, * Poor, darling thing! She bears it well. A noble girl!" Now can you tell Just why they stayed away? MARY MM. SCOTT. A CLOSE MATCH, +¢D)ID THAT engagement of Haw- kins and Miss Hicks end in a tie?” “No. drew out.” WE SHALL believe that Billy of Prussia will visit our big fair when it is known that his grandmother of England will come too, Therefore we shall not believe it. It ended in a draw. She ister Constable?” A bier-wagon yoost runned VERY NEAR-SIGHTED. Near-sicutep Biv Say, Mike, lend mea pair of eye-glasses till I see what the papers say about the cholera?’ MIKE (ar-ender)—""Ah, go on! If yez can git any colry news out of thot shticky fly-paper ye better use beer-glasses.”” comicbooks.com