Judge, 1892-07-30 · page 5 of 16
Judge — July 30, 1892 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects brief comedic sketches typical of Judge's satirical humor: **"Horse and Horse"** mocks class pretension through a dialogue between a society woman and a burlesque actress. Each assumes the other must carry her costume in her pocket—a jest at both women's intelligence and their mutual incomprehension of different social worlds. **"Turning the Tables"** is a simple reversal joke: a debt collector claims the debtor tried to "kick him out," flipping the expected power dynamic. **"Work for Him to Do"** appears to reference Senator Hill (likely David B. Hill, a prominent Gilded Age politician), with a joke about sending up a knife-grinder—likely satirizing politicians' uselessness or the chaotic Washington bureaucracy. The remaining items are lightweight puns and observational humor ("Stuck at Last," "Weal and Woe," "A Practical Lesson") typical of period magazine filler—gentle wordplay rather than pointed political satire. The Sunday school joke about Jonah exemplifies Judge's light, family-friendly approach to humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HORSE AND HORSE. H HEY sat on the shore, Each a sight to adore— A society queen And a star of burlesque. . One haughty of mien 4 Se ‘One fair, statuesque. The society belle Let her lofty eyes dwell With interest keen On that pet of the stage She had So often seen, And whose art was the rage. Then, turning her head To her escort, she said, “+ How do actresses carry Their costumes about ? Oh, I have it, Harry! In their pockets, no doubt.” The actress in turn Was anxious to learn Where that beauty far-famed Had her cute bathing-dress. Then quickly exclaimed, “In her pocket, I guess!" srrraxs wituerr, TURNING THE TABLES. SSVAS there any evasion on W his part when you asked him for the money?” inquired the manager. “Neno, sir,” replied the collect- “The evasion was all on my He tried to kick me out.” or. side. WORK FOR HIM TO DO. N WASHINGTON. Senator Hill—"\sn't that a knife-grinder’s bell? Bell-boy—" Yes, sir.” Senator Hill— Send bim up." ‘The dry-poods clerk now bails the day, He'll stroll along the shore BUREAU INFORMATION, » HAPPY DAYS. STUCK AT LAST. Nosocks—"* Yer gives all sorts of infermation yere, don't yer?” Pouire cLerk—"* Yes, sir.” Nosocxs—"Den I wish yer would tell me where I kin swop dis yer termater-can fer a piece o' strawberry shortcake.” RATHER QUIET. ‘*Tasked Mr. Rathbone what he was doing and he simply said it was very quiet work. Do you know what it is?” “Why, yes. He's keeping books for a cemetery company.” WEAL AND WOE, HIS Dieyele threw him, And bad did he feel ; But in life one is sure “To have woe with his wheel. A PRACTICAL LESSON. Sunday-school teacher—" What lesson are we to learn from the story of Jonah and the whale?” With her he waited on last year Pupit—"To stay on dry land.” Within the dry-goods store. HE WAS THERE EARLY. ‘CWVELL, I'd be ashamed of myself if I were you to her husband, “ You didn’t get to church this morning till the sermon was half over.” “Ob, I was there long before that,” replied Cumso. “I got there just as the preacher said, Finally, brethren, one word more.’ * FORCE OF HABIT. Sue—'* Why is it, count, that every time I give you money you invariably reach up and jerk your arm frantically?" Counr—"* Vell, you know, I vos vonce a conductor on a street-car.”” comicbooks.com