Judge — July 30, 1892 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

IN SAFETY. Mista Jonnsinc — "Is yo’ fond ob glidin’ along wif a safety bicycle, Miss Nellye 2” Miss NetLye—"* ‘Deed [ is, I likes it bettah den de glide polka, becoze de gemmen doan tread on mai feet.” ON THE STEAMER DECK. Mrs. van Knuckleboy —"1 do so dread an ocean voyage ! I dare say as soon as we are out of sight of land I shall be obliged to retire to my state-room, and you will not see me again until we steam into the Liverpool dock.” Mrs. Saitwell— Too bad, But it must be such a comfort to have your son with you.” Mrs. van Knuckleboy —* My dear, it was really on his ac- count 1 came. An unfortunate love affair has been absorbing him, and I thought the best thing would be to get him abroad.” Mrs, Saitwell— Ah, 1 see! You don't approve of the young lady?” Mrs. van Knuckleboy—" She is simply impossible. A rich parvenu—pretty, they say. I have never seen her, but poor Schuyler was in a dreadful state. I am surprised he came with me so willingly—but the boy is really noble. When I threw y Shey An HE WANTED THE DIFFERENCE. “* How much is dat buggy, boss?” CARKIAGE-DEALER—" Three hundred dollars.” Huncxy Dattey— Well, Pll take it, Here's me check fer three hundred dollars and fifteen cents. Jes’ giv’ me the fifteen cents change an’ I'll come fer de buggy ter-morrer.” myself on his sense of honor, and duty to me, the dear fellow responded in the manliest way.” Mrs. Saitwell—“1 see he has found some friends on Mrs. van Knuckleboy—Yes. \'m delighted that it is so. He seems quite taken with that charming girl in gray, don’t you think? She has the most distinguished bearing, and such a lovely, modest face. I have been watching: her ever since Schuy- ler. began to talk to her, Ah, a woman might be proud of a daughter-in-law like that!” Mrs. Saitwell— Yes, she’s very lovely. You know her, 1 suppose—Miss Flossie Rox?” Mrs. van Knuckleboy (sinking back in her steamer-chair) —* Miss who-o-0-0-0?” Mrs. Saitwell—" Miss Flossie Rox. Why! what 2s the matter, my dear Mrs. van "—— Mrs. van Knuckleboy (gasping) — Oh! oh! Now I un- derstand why he was so willing to come. He kngw I would be ill every minute of the trip, and that’s the girl-I was taking him away from.” rar wae Ob HE WASN'T UP, oftly) —“* Say, *Lige, poke yo’ shirt in behin’; it’s all hangin’ out. Hurry, incott sees yo !"" ‘o's crazy, man! Das mah sash. I'll knock de mouf offen yo'.” LOVE’S PENALTY. WHILE wooing, when she'd haye her way It's always best to let her; For if you don't, whate’er you say, You cannot hope to get her. A VALUABLE COURSE, Witherby —* What is your daughter going to do after her graduation?” Planking ton—"1 am think- ing of giving her a post-gradu- ate course, showing her how to stand off her millifier.” FALSE PRETENSES. Police judge—" What is the charge against this man?” Attendant—" Yer honor, he is accused of receiving goods under false pretenses.” - Police judge —" Explain the case, Attendant— Well, yer hon- or, Officer McDuffie gave him a clubbing supposing he was an- other man.” Police judge—" Ten dollars or thirty days.” N Wa g ”, ‘ y v ‘ sie te Case ees « Meee: Lg comicbooks.com