Judge — June 18, 1892 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ENLIGHTENED. Pouices or Oi'll pull yez in INEBRIATED — “*Lookst here, ole mansh, ‘m waiten for that car.” Pouicemay —"' Thot car! Thot's a red loight in a drug-shtore.”” « Here now, move on A LOST ILLUSTRATION. E'S an awful miser. I never heard of him giving anything away in his life.” “Didn't he give his daughter away when she was married 2” “You're awfully funny, aren't you? His daughter eloped.” AT THE WRITERS’ CLUB. SARE you acquainted with Mr. Yardwide Stripling, Mr. Forceit ?” “T—aw—I think Mr, Stripling has met me,” replied Mr. Forceit. won't you? stairs." CLaRa—"'I suppose you have heard that Charlie Bigrolle and I don't k, haven't you 7” Maupe Why, no. take the pins out of my waistband.” What was the trouble?" Ciara —' It was all my dressmaker's fault, She forgot to <T-MINDED COUNSELOR —"* Gentlemen of the jury, i 1-HE HAD TO Mrs, WHeTMore (lo caller HER IDEA OF SINGLENESS. ALTE ing “1 wish I was single, the bells they would jingle ; 1 wish I was single again.” Her papa asked her what she meant by single, and she replied, * Oh, not to be twins,”” ANOTHER WAY OF PUTTING IT. Miss Emerson (of Boston) —“' Are you quite satisfied that he loves you?” Miss Bleecker (ot New York)—"Dead sure.” Miss Emerson—“But what makes you so fatally confident ?” girl was sing- OUT OF HIS RECKONING. you convict this man who, he widow and orphans left lonely and SAY IT. )—"* Wait a moment, Mr. Whetmore has just stepped down: ~ at the principal in low up, pard. It was der old woman what got shot.” LOST TO THE WORLD. +* NOW prisoner,” said the judge, “how did you manage to elude so successfully the vigilance of the detectives ?" “That was very easy, your hon or," replied the prisoner. “I lived in the front parlor of a New England farm-house.” A CHARMING WAY. ¢¢]S FLEECY an entertaining man in company ?” “ He is one of the most charming listeners you ever saw.” A SLIP INVOLUNTARY. +s LORENCE,” said her mother severely, " what is this I hear ? Your brother tells me that you winked thool to-day !” “O, mamma,” replied the maiden, “don’t let that trouble you. I didn’t mean to; indeed I didn't. 1 only happened to be looking at the pro- fessor and my eye slipped.” 2—HE HAD TO SAY IT. Mn. WHetMore (tho has tripped, turned over four times and struck every stair twice with the back of his head)—"* Madam, you lie !” comicbooks.com