Judge — May 28, 1892 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

j HE KNEW HIS PLACE. A COMPLETE DISGUISE. Sue—‘‘Augustus, dear, when we are married shall we not have a Queen Anne eIn—"'1 vi te t Trisch ae — cottage for our home?” p80 ee rs ee ‘Ah, dot's it ox- He—" Well—er—yes; that is, T would like to, but I—er—guess we'll have Costumer—"* Yessir.” ackly. to try a Maggie Murphy flat first.” . SWEET REVENGE. **NOOVO got even with the dude set out at Parkerton-on-the-Hackensack very neatly,” said Hicks. “For four years Noovo tried to get in with that crowd and couldn't. The fifth year they recog- nized him and let him in on a subscription dance. He bought four tickets and gave ‘em to his coachman.” AN EXPENSIVE ERROR. Skroople (the druggist)—" Young Bangs wanted me to hire him as prescription clerk, but I can’t afford to engage a man who has been known to dispense morphine for quinine.” That's dangerous, isn’t it?” “Oh, yes. Morphine costs ten times as much as quinine.” IN THE PROCESSION. Marshal Mulvaney—" Hi, there, Lannigan! Oi've tould ye times enough to kape shtep wid th’ rist.” Lannigan— “Shure, Oi am kapin’ shtep th’ best Oi can.” Mutvaney— “Then if that's th’ best ye can do, fer th’ love 0” hiven shtop thryin’ t' kape shtep wid th’ rist an’ jist thry kapin’ ‘shtep wid yuresilf a while an’ see if ye can do thot.” HAY FEVER. AN—'' Phwat's th’ matther wid 1's th’ hay faver Oi hov.” “An’ how did yez get it?” From shlapin’ on a shtraw ny ould fool d know thot.” JUST GOT BACK, Husband—" Hello! where did that clock come from?” Wife— Why, my dear, that was one of the clocks that was given us for a wedding-present.” Husband—"Well1 should like to know where it has been all these years?” Wife— The jeweler has been regulating it.” Mr, Monk—" Don’t say anything to your mother about this, Jacko; it might make her OUR ADVICE. feel bad, If she asks any questions by the time you get home tell her that I'm simply down in Jupcr’s device for keeping the small boy at school. Let the mouth and she needn't keep dinner for me.” him study baseballography. : comicbooks.com