Judge, 1892-03-05 · page 6 of 18
Judge — March 5, 1892 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several unrelated satirical pieces typical of Judge's format: **"Comrades"** (main text): A sentimental story about romantic love for someone socially unacceptable to friends, culminating in a melodramatic near-drowning rescue—only to reveal the rescuer is a dog. The satire mocks overly earnest, flowery romantic literature popular at the time. **"A Base Informer" and "He Laughs Best"**: Brief dialect humor featuring working-class characters (likely Irish or similar immigrant stereotypes, common in period humor) discussing small money disputes and comic misadventures. These rely on heavy phonetic spelling for comedic effect. **"A Sign of Life"**: A German-accented character ("Kickhelmer") observing toy-making, likely commenting on immigrant labor or industrial conditions. **"In the Wrong Place"**: Racial satire using a Black woman character's dialect, with a druggist making a crude joke about her complexion—reflecting the era's casual racism. **"Nicely Put"**: A mild joke about a poetry-writing son collecting rejection slips rather than coins. The page reflects Judge's mix of sentimental parody, immigrant stereotypes, and period-typical racial humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Mrs, Hanks Hanks quartah, but I had ter pay back a dollah ‘n fohteen cents for las’ Banker Hawkes (breaking in foun’ dis yer chip on d° flo’ aftah cents mob, please.” JUDGE COMRADES. MET Adm. It was not long before we be- came ardently attached to each other. My friends hated and despised him, but I repaid their unkind- ness by devoting myself to the object of their scorn; then they sneered and prophesied that I would see the day when 1 would outgrow my desirable party. Still my love for him grew and continued to grow. Then came the first parting. It was hard, ter- ribly hard, for me. T went to the seashore. The first week of my stay there my spirits were low—low as the tide at its lowest. The place seemed desert- ed and dreary. The sun lost its brightness for me. Life was a blank. Earth BASE INFORMER. Whadijer git fer kals'minin’ dat fence?" D' deac’n done ‘lowed me a dollah ‘n a Earth was paradise. Hi, dar, yo" Hanks! I lef’ d’ groc'ry-stoah, Ten HE LAUGHS BEST WHO LAUGHS LAST. fondness for such an un- E was purgatory. Then Ae came to visit me. brilliancy, The tide did not rise as high as did my spirits. We walked side by side upon the moonlit, wave-washed beach. We held many subdued conversations together in regard to our future. One day.I went in bathing. —<— KICKHELM ER By DOLLS A TOYS A SIGN OF LIFE. Kickneimer—"' Keep youst as you vas, schiltren. You vos doin’ shplendit !” The sun became dazzling in Life was worth living. I tumbled and swam through the breakers. The undertow was strong and I was seized by it and borne away—far, far away. I screamed for help, but none came. I realized that I was lost— drowning. I remembered having spoken a cross word to my mother. I remembered’ having struck a child years before. I recalled every action of my life—good and bad. I sank—- down—down Something seized me. 1 became unconscious. Gradually I returned to life. I learned that 4e had saved me. The news rang through my ears and gave me life. I had been saved from the jaws of death by the one I loved. I spoke his name. My voice was too weak—he did not hear me. Again I called his name. Still my voice was not strong enough. I tried once more. He heard. He came to me and stood by my side. His tender, loving eyes looked into mine. He tried to speak, but could not. A feeling of safety and security came over me. For a moment there was silence, then, bend- ing toward him, I whispered, “I love you, I love you!” Still he could not speak, but, coming closer, he licked my hand. Being a dog he could do nothing else. ALM. toy JR IN THE WRONG PLACE. Miss Lilywhite Snowflake <{rom the colored quarter) —"I wanter little powder for de complexion.” Druggist —" For yoursel Miss L. Snowflake —" Yessab Druggist —"Go to a gun-store.” NICELY PUT. S*POEs your son still collect coins ?” “Oh, no. He writes verses and has taken up collecting rejection- slips from the periodicals. He has nearly a complete set.” comicbooks.com