Judge — February 13, 1892 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE AN ANGEL OF A COOK. ¢¢Q)H, AUNT LIZZIE, I am so glad you have come! I found that wretched girl Nora taking brandy from my closet this morn- ing and I discharged her. I couldn’t do any different, could 1?” “Why, no; I pr&sume not. But what did you do for dinner? Do you want me to help you?” “Oh, no, indeed! Tom says I'm an angel of a cook. I got the dinner all myself.” “Um! What did you have?” “What makes you say it so queer? Tom toasted some bread, and I let him make the coffee. You know he camped out two years ago, and he likes to keep in practice. Then I found part of an orange- pie left from yesterday, and we sent out for some fafés, and had some I'm an angel of a cook.” ness?” now.” SYMPTOMS. Fanning —“ What's that?” When you see a man stop suddenly, | ——and double up like this, he has a Channing — like this— AN EXAMPLE: OF IT. ss] T DISTRESSES me,” said the distinguished English lecturer—" it actually distresse me that the Americans are such fervent worshipers of the dollar.” “Mr. Johnsing, will yo" be so 'bligin’ as to han’ me up dat whitewash-pail?* “Tank yo', Mr. Johnsing; t’ank yo'.”” touch of the grip. “I wonder if that is the reason so many of them pay two or three dollars a head to hear you lecture for an hour and a half?” suggested a man who had listened to the remark. TWO VALENTINES. HEE SENT heer one a year azo Which made her out a saint ; ‘The one he sends this year would show, I’m very sure, she ain't. LAZY. SOUVHAT is your idea of happiness ?” “Nothing to do and lots of time to do it in.” CUPID’S BLINDNESS. HE gets a valentine of his A RADICAL MEANS OF Vistror (from Reno)—"* Look out there !” Rartep P Vistro pocket —"* Murder ! sony, young feller ‘That with his love acquaintsher, my watch-chain onter my Derringer trigger. Tt doesn’t show her as she is, But as his fancy paints her. A LESSON IN POLITENESS, of the fruit-cake mamma made for us last Christmas. splendidly, and I'd like to do my own cooking all the time. Tom says * Excuse me, Mr. Johnsing ; excuse me, si I got along MILLIONS IN IT WITHOUT DOUBT. Fanning —"Is Jobson a practical, level-headed man of busi- Channing —" Yes; and he has a very great scheme afoot right “He's organizing a company to insure fire-proof buildings against spontaneous combustion.” PROTECTION, but T always hitch the end of comicbooks.com