Judge — February 13, 1892 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE GEMS FROM THE GERMAN. Avrwor.—It has been said by certain his- is not good German dialect. Prescott says, ‘The original settlers between Albany and Canajoharie were Dutch, but it is noticeable that as they forego the use of saverkraut and Dutch cheese their idiom and breath are neither sogtrong stage German, Early Dutch and Late Cabbage. F ALL der shackasses vos got long ears der average height of der hooman race vould peen increased ofer two feet. It vos easier to go droo a camel's eye mit “YA needle as to blow a millionaire’s bocket-pook Vi oben mit dynamite. N Y Der shmardest eagle dot efer fly in der shky Yj Wp got to come down to der croundt for his poard // und lodgings, ain'd ut? Den vhy shouldt ve for riches sigh Off vortless vealth vos useless gain? Der man dot eats der piggest pie Vas only got a larger pain. 4.7. woapen. DESCRIPTIVE. spo YOU like chestnuts, RULED OUT. Bronson?” EpH—‘‘Ain't yo’ playin’ t'-day, Junius?” “No, I don't. 1 Jusius—* No; dey won't luff meh.” P Ep —* Whad’s d’ mattah 2” consider the chestnut Juntus—‘!T's been runnin’ a milk-route, an’ dey say I's the hedgehog of nut: had too much ‘sperience wiv numbers.” “ My little brother's hat fits me better than my own does.” “ Anything else?” “Well, I've got golden hair now. It used to be black.” “ How is the bichloride administered >” “ Injected into the left arm.” “Suppose you should go on another racket, what would you do?” “If I went broke I should hock my arm. Have something before you go?” Pew. CoRTISS AN ASSIGNMENT. S+J[&. COLUM," said the city editor to one of his reporters, “do. you drink?" 0, sir. wish you would acquire the liquor habit, for I want you to make a personal test of one of the new specifics for drunkenness and write it up in good style.” MONEY IN HIS POCKET. Blenstein (meeting his son as he returns from Europe)—“ Ikey, I vos sorry dot ship vos delayed by shtorms.”” They —"*Fader, SUBORDINATE SARCASM. : nee don'd mention it. I Guest —"' Look here, sir! When I order pomme de terre Lwant °°” r aor seit) a a little more pomme and not so much ferre, Do you understand ?” got fours days 4 pout Garcon —"" Oui, monsieur, You do not vant ze earth.” fur nuttings. THE RETURN OF THE PRODIGAL, A WHIRLED reporter interviews a gilded youth just returned from the Keeley institute at White Plains. ‘So you consider yourself cured?" Gilded youth—"Yes. 1 am in such a state of protracted drought that I've given away my umbrella and mackintosh.” “Who attended you during your sojourn up the road?” ‘wo physicians, a nurse and a snake-charmer.” “The bichloride-of-gold treatment is expensive, is it not?” “Yes; but you know they can’t buy chloride of gold for nothing.” “I suppose you were full of it when you left?” “Yes; I was a filled case.” “I understand that the patients have a slang term with which they refer to the hypodermic injections ?” “Yes; ‘jabs.” “Then I suppose they call the doctor ‘his jablets “Don't have to call him; have to go to him.” “Thave been told that the patients feel dazed during the earlier portion of the treat- ment. Am I correct?” Yes; like Sullivan's ballad.” How is that?” : «Golden Daze. REASSURED. “Did they give you anything as a preventive i a tite?” Visrtor—"'*Xcuse me, boss; I's de hall-boy.” Did they give you anything as a preventive in case of a return of the old appetite Viston. a Keaee we beer sts Gebel ay eae es; a rotary pump and a demijohn of the bichloride. _sOMTall Peighe LST IEeeGHE for CneuICeE Toe we “Do you experience any inconvenience from the treatment ?” other W-wagner car-p-porter !” comicbooks.com