Judge — January 23, 1892 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE GABRILE JOHNSING ON MACHINE POLITICS. B ALL de ries ob modern days Dat demergogs an’ soreheads raise De hardest one to understand Is dat which now afllicts our land Frum rostrum, bar-room an’ de press, In tones ob anger an’ distress, Frum rich an’ poor, fram fat an‘ lean, Dat warnin’ cry, ‘ Machine, machine!” A bull may get upon de track ‘An’ twist his tail an’ hump his back, Put down his head an’ paw de groun’ Wid bellowin's ob awful soun’; But when de ingine hits him squar’ An’ knocks him forty feet in a'r He thinks, when sailin’ o'er de scene, Some bittér:things ob dat machine. A cannerdate what lacks fer votes Fo'teenthly. You will sometimes find Will git his fren’s to turn deir coats It takes a heap ob power to grind, An’ rail about de one-man power. Wid water-wheels an’ wind an’ steam, He means, my fren's, dose grapes am sour, A long mill-sweep an’ steady team ; Ain't one-man power a tip-top plan An’ water-powers must hab a head” If you or I is dat one man? An’ be well dammed when all is said ; An’ when we grumble don’t it mean ‘An’ jest the nicest thing I've seen Dat we cain't run de ole machine? Is dat same well-oiled, slick machine, Belubbed bredren, let's be frank An’ let me say, before I close, An’ talk about dat whirlin’ crank, To lead a nation by de nose, Whedder it draws us in, my fren’, To guide a state wid gentle hand, Or fires us frum de udder end; To twist de crank dat steers our iand, Whedder it grinds fer us a grist To make our fellers split deir throats, Or gibs our poor sore heads a twist. To win a million honest votes, A mighty diff'runce may be seen An’ all wid fingers white an’ clean, In how men view de ole machine. Is runnin’ quite a large machine. THE LATEST INVENTION. We will now take up a collection to defray de illegitimate expenses ob de campaign. Patron —* What's that rigging you've put on my foot?” ‘Ae. WORDEN, Boorstack —"' Dat's der patent corn-indicator. Whenever Rit one wid der brush, der bell rings, so’s yer don't have ter joller.”” THE OTHER KIND. #6] CAN recommend some delightful cough-candy,” said Sway- back to Snooper. * “It wouldn't do me any good,” replied the sufferer. “I haven't a delightful cough.” SHE APPRECIATED HIS CONDITION. Mrs. Crimmins (at two a.m.) —"Is that you, James?” James —Yesh (hic), m’ dear. ‘Mrs, Crimmins—“ Well, lock the gas and turn out the door oA aS A LAPSE OF MEMORY. Grapy (on a visit to /réland) — ¢ they hov in N’ Yark called ‘Kick th’ hat’; but, be gob! I disremimbers phether it's wan hat an’ foor bricks or foor hats an’ wan brick, Annyways, it doan't look jist right.” WONDERFUL RESOURCES. ¢UTHE wonderful recuperating powers of nature are nowhere more strongly | shown than at the seashore.” | “That's very true. I was there a week, and every day I must have carried | off Tour million grains of sand in my shoes, and, by George! you never would have missed ‘em from the beach.” : A SUBJECT FOR A PROPOSED STRIKE, He—"1 think Monday would be the most appropri ate day of rest.” She—" Why?” He—On account of the Sunday papers.” AN EVEN THING. De Smythe (at the boarding-house table) —I ordered dinner an hour ago and no sign of it yet. I wonder what time it will be when I have swallowed it?” NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. Proressor (lecturing on the gorilla) —'' Their powers of imitation Bjones (old boarder) —" Not so very late. You see, 2f€ strong. When fighting, they use long clubs with deadly effect. How | you make up for the length of the wait by the shortness '¢Y £ame to learn these tactics, or os STUDENT ( just back from New York, interrupting) —‘* Maybe they “NOT IN IT." of the eat, saw 2 New York policeman” eo maton comicbooks.com