Judge — January 23, 1892 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

OLD BLIFFKINS’S BEARD. YOU never saw anything to match, In this vale of tears and sin, ‘The wonderful, billowy, tangled thatch “That covered old Bliffkins's chin. "Twas coarser than horse-hair ‘And grimy as soot. He looked like a corsair From noddle to foot, All men were dismayed when before them appeared The harrowing vision of Bliffkins's beard. It filled all the atmosphere like a fog ; Its ends were scraggy and loose ; It looked like the back-of a brindle dog, Or a door-mat long in use. Unwashed and unscissored, Its depths could defy ‘The rage of the blizzard, . The scorch of July ; For the frigidest blast that ‘the earth ever neared, Like the hottest of suns, couldn't enter that beard The beard of old Bliffkins, long, thick and wide, Was as horrible as a nightmare ; Yet the mattress-makers with envy eyed “Those limitless wastes of hair. Ferocious old friskers Y in breeze, shine and storm, . TON The deep, matted whiskers AT THE EXHIBITION, ‘That round him did swarm ! Sue—Number six bundred and twenty-eight. It made women faint and men tremble, that weird, ‘The country stile.’ Do find that one !" ‘That ineffable terror, old Bliffkins's beard. in" W youn TaLsan Site —"" Because I should so like to see the hats for this season. HOW HE KNEW. ¢ THIS must be a female tur- key,” observed Hunker, at the dinner-table. What makes you. think that?” asked Mrs. Small. “Tt has such rich dressing.” CAUSE AND EFFECT. Gentleman —" Whatis your name, little girl ?” Little girl—" Evelyn An- toinette Billings Smith Redfern Hathaway Jacobs Strathmore Clum.” Gentleman —"You have a long name for a little girl Little girl — Yes, sit; but OVER-WEIGHTED. ed in Chicago seven Mrs. MARSHMELLOW —“‘Do you mind taking me Mus. MARSHMELLOW (on the tay, cnd with a spasmodic across the street? I'm awfully timid.” movement) —"" Mercy sakes alive! I thought that horse was Orricer GAFPNEY—'' No, marm, Jest takemyarm.” going right over us.” SENTENCES PASSED BY THE JUDGE. AEE pride is not vanity, nor is all vanity a matter of pride. The potent “Arise, sir knight!" of former ages has come to sound ridiculously like “ Arise, sir fool!” It is not in the power of dead saints to prevent unsaintly worshiping at their shrine. It is a question whether the most exas- perating person is the one who presses with inquis torial footsteps into the ==; veiled recesses of one’s heart, Sacred to the pres- ence of the few, or the one who maintains an ob- stinate and complete in- difference to those various GOOD REASON FOR STOPPING. points regarding one’s self Miss Footiicnts—"* Surely you don’t intend to go on the variety ‘stage, ing whi Mame?" concerning which one may Mrs, Grasseveuve—" Why not? Haven't I qualified myself by getting be more than willing to 4 divorce?" A TALE OF A BROKEN DAM; OR, inform the world. Miss Footticuts—" But you got your divorce through declaring your ‘A TALE OF WHOA. xavurine crosjean, _husband’s intémperance ; your opinion on * tights’ is now on record.” | comicbooks/com