Judge — 1891 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Mrs. OsepiaH—‘* A letter from my darli JUDGE'S ANNUAL. HIS HOME-COMING. ing Willie! How his bright little face beamed with a noble resolve to stand between me and the cruel world, when he started on that whaling-voyage four years ago. and long to see him AN IMPRESSION. Ah! she is a giddy charmer, On this point make no mistake, And she vowed a deep impression On dear Adolph’s heart to make. So her smile was most bewitching As beside him down she sat, And she made a great impression, But she made it on his hat. PRANK B. BRANDT. RUNNING VERSUS STRIKING. A traveler having to call at a hotel on a rainy day left his umbrella in the rack with the following, written on a card, pinned to it : How 1 long TOO BAD. In an shop. “What lovely china! is very old, is'nt it?” “No, madam; it’s quite modern.” “How sad! And it's so pretty.” old curiosity- It PROGRESS. “There's nothing like a western town for pro- gress,” remarked Trotter. “Yes,” said Talbot. “I saw an instance of it while in Colorado. A man was given ten hours to leave the town and he took just five minutes,” “This umbrella belongs to an ath- . letic gentleman who has taken lessons of Sullivan, Will return in ten min- utes.” “On coming out he found his “ um- bril” had disappeared, but near the place where he had left it he found a card with the following interesting bit of information : “This card was left by a pedestrian who can get over the ground at the rate of ten miles an hour. Will not return,” Miss Det. OrMe- PAaxDINGTON * Don’t look at them. 1" is extremely good. Wie (a month later Well, ole lady, how goes it? Clear decks fer der live stock I’s brought yer. Der's two flamingos an’ a baby sea-cow outside.” COURT ETIQUETTE. (FOR THE BENEFIT OF THOSE WHO ARE ABROAD THIS SEASON.) For Men. When you back out of the royal presence, be careful not to trip and fall. If the queen gives you her hand to kiss, do not offer to wish her rings on. Make no allusion to her crown, no matter if it is crooked. Do not address the queen in Indian, for she cannot understand it, even if she is empress of India. If the queen asks after the president, reply that he is well. This is one of the court rules. Do not attempt to get up a flirtation with any of the maids of honor. It is not considered polite to whistle “ John Brown's Body while you are waiting to be presented. Never say “ Halloa” to a prince, for they are generally too stuck-up to notice you, and it is only a waste of breath. If a duchess happens to drop a rose from her bouquet and you pick it up, do not offer to return it. Smuggle it out of sight and keep it as a memento. Itis the proper thing to go in uniform if you have one, but We ALL BUSINESS. It's a pity to break in on his proposal.” Why, that's young Junkins, the wholesale druggist’s son, explain- ing the advantages of a chest-protector he has just invented.” comicbooks.com