Judge — 1891 — page 46: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HER ARGUMENT. Well, no, not handsome in the least—his figure’s straight and tall; Out of the common way. He smokes more than he ought to do; He has good teeth and roguish eyes, nice hair, his hands are small, But then, I love him so I've learned to love tobacco too! On every block you'll meet a man much handsomer than he, But then, I love him—that makes all the difference, you see. And, yes, he has a temper—he is not an angel, quite. He scolds me often; but I think he’s nearly always right, Not rich—far from it. He is just a book-heeper down-town. And even if he wasn't I should try to think he was, Of course his salary can’t be much; he works for Black & Brown. Because ‘twould break my heart to really quarrel; and because— I dare say we shall have to take the smallest kind of flat Ta Rane seithi batt love Glin ao | ahel not carn for than: Oh, just because, And I can't help it—that explains it best. It doesn't? Well, then nothing will. You think I am possessed? He isn’t talented at all, He doesn't paint nor sing You say I make myself a slave, and wonder how I can? Nor rhyme; nor show, indeed, a special taste for anything But, dear, I see you don’t know what it is to love a man. MADELINE S, BRIDGES, AT OUR BOARDING HOUSE. “If there is one thing I appreciate more than another, it is a good piano,” said Miss Staleybutt, as she seated herself and ran her fingers across the keys. “I hdpe the neighbors will be of the same opinion,” snarled old Jugerson, as he drew his chair as far from the instrument as possible, and struggled with the evening paper in a dimly-lighted corner of the room. “Music hath charms,” sighed Miss Simper. She was a faded-out little blonde and thought life had no knowledge but aphorisms, of which she had about a score at her fingers’ ends. “Charms! I should say it had,” said young Slasher, “ Play us that air from the Mulligan Guards; let's see!_ How does it go? Tra le la le la le de da—” “The Mulligan Guards!” said Miss Staleybutt. “T never heard of the opera. Is it by Ver “Very likely,” said Slasher. ‘ Anyhow it’s by far the best I ever heard. How does that go? Tra la la le la——" “ Now, is not this devilish?” said old Jugerson from the obscurity of his corner. “ Play ('Tis sweet to love,’ ” suggested Miss Simper. “Play the devil,” said Jugerson. “Do you know anything of Claribel’s,” proceeded - Miss Simper, not heeding the interruption. “ Here, I've got it now,” ejaculated young Slasher. “Tra la la la le de de da!” “Or, ‘Under the willow,’” said Miss Simper. “ Or under the Hudson River,” said Jugerson. ae ne try ‘I stood on the Bridge at Midnight, said Miss Staleybutt. “Ay, do, by “all means,” said Jugerson, “and go . ALMOST TICKLED. TO, DEAZIL. . and stand there.” _, Ma. Kit James, of Saugerties. (on the avenue)—" 1 knowed it wuz an open winter, but I “““Theday when you'll forget me,’"said Miss Simper, _“#8*C expect fo find th lies so thick in this ‘ere city, “Gosh, but I'd like to see it,” said Jugerson. “No, this is it. Tra la de da da da, tra le dadadade. Just Bie me the key, will you?" said Slasher. “Here, take mine,” said Jugerson, producing his night key; “and stay out as late as you like. I shan't want it till to-morrow.” “‘The heart bowed down,’” said Miss Staleybutt. “That's me,” said Jugerson. “Try ‘Where, oh where is my little dog gone?’” said Slasher. “T'd take an interest in the question if you'd only go after it,” said Jugerson. “ How tender!” said Miss Simper. “Here’s something beautiful,” said Miss Staleybutt, and the keys fairly crashed as she swept her fingers over them. Jugerson only groaned. “There's a sick lady up stairs,” said the landlady, putting her head in at the door, “and she says, if you only wouldn't mind not playing for to-night" Miss Staleybutt closed the piano with a bang. Hararen “Tell her that I'll pay her doctor's bills if she'll only give bonds to be sick every night tili I get out of this THE HEIGHT OF SELFISHNESS. messes aiebg said Miss Simper. R SCHWANENPLUGEL. (af dem Dot Fritzey vos von hog, Gretchen!” And the parlor relapsed into its normal condition, NPLUGEI—"' So-0-0 ANENPLUGEL—"* Vaw! Vhen T f in pipe, he trinks all der pees F bier, unt only leaves dot mooch fer der baby!" De dog dat bahks toe much doan’ git time toe bite. comicbooks.com