Judge — 1891 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE'S ANNUAL. THE BRIDE'S THOUGHT. “Shall I tell you, dear, what I thought of when “The ring was on and the prayer was said?” (They were safe in their flying carriage then— ‘Two lovers just newly wed.) WOMAN'S RULE, He was lecturing on “Woman's Rule” and he asked the ques- tion, “How many men are there present to- night who are run by their wives?” = 5 3 si Zi About three-quar- “Your friend who stood by my bridesmaid’s side ters of the men stood At the altar’s railing—our chosen two. He had longed so dearly to call me bride, MP. a ‘ Bur, darling, you never knew, ‘And now," he said, “how many are pres- ent who are run by their wives and who are afraid to acknowl- edge it?” Il the rest of the men were on their feet in an instant.” ** Not of the peace that ended fear ; Not of the years we hope to know ; But I only thought—oh, forgive me, dear— Of the man who loved me so-~ “And I only thought how it seemed to him— ‘The offered vows and the glad replies— And somehow the lighted church looked dim ‘Through the tears that filled my eyes.” Then, laughing lightly, thus answered he : “Tis very strange how these things occur ; Your bridesmaid, dear,-was in love with me, But—I never thought of her!" MADRLINE Sm TOO CHEAP. Customer—“ How much is that ring?” New JewWELRY-CLERK—“It’s. marked “ One good turn de- serves another,” as the pancake said to EXPLAINED. StREET-BOY (in @ very loud whisper)—" L tell yer what I think makes ‘im so thin ; they uses ‘im to Eighteen cents, please.” Mr. Oppetriucer: ook at der list: san's ohf oders, all immordal pecause dey het not der muscle, but dot chrand Cherman head.” A BARGAIN. Op tapy—“I'm looking for bargains this morning. Have you anything you want to show me?” DrucG cLeRK—* Yes’m; we're closing out that lot of fly-paper cheap to-day.” A SLOW AFFAIR. “ How did you enjoy the ball?” was asked of a pretty -senorita in Mexico. “Tt was tame; very tame,” she replied ? “not at all like we used to have,” , “To what do you attribute that condition of affdirs ?” ““Oh, senor! there were but seven men killed during the whole evening.” DIDN'T LIKE THAT KIND. “Why do you object to playing in the coast-towns?” was asked of an actor in the east. “Oh, there are so many light houses.” was the reply. Luther, Goethe, the griddle. PHRENOLOGICAL. Schiller, unt aaa 1 A MISUNDERSTANDING. Tino Toxo—'" Wantee check?" McGur (the contractor)—"* Wantee check! Yez thin ! d” yez t'ink Oi'd be afther drawin’ me check fer AiG phrice av wan shir-rt 2°" ynut-eyed hay- stir the soups an’ puddin’s with.” Duckperry—"' Here's a customer, Frit Orretriucer—" All righd, I tends to him. A TRUTH UTTERED. Son—‘ But accidents will hap- pen, father, in the best-regulated families.” Fatuer—“That’s all right, but T want you to understand that mine is not one of the best-regu- lated families.” STRUCK IT THE FIRST TIME, “Do you know who her grand- father was? Have you ascertained anything in regard to her pedigree ? Those are things you ought to know about the woman you are to make your wife.” “Oh, hang her grandfather !” A “My boy, that’s just what they id.” IMMATERIAL TO HIM. Servant — “I’ve where, Mr. Smith, and I can’t find a single goose.” Mr. SmirH— Well, I don’t care anything about its matrimonial been every- condition. Get a married goose, then.” comicbooks.com