Judge, 1891 · page 22 of 69
Judge — 1891 — page 22: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"A Dilemma"** satirizes the social vanity of wealthy women during a smallpox vaccination campaign in an unnamed western city. A beautiful young woman ("the belle of all the city") seeks vaccination but refuses the visible arm scar it leaves—a mark of the procedure's necessity. Doctor Brown's final suggestion ("the virus down inside") is a euphemistic joke implying an intimate/internal location, playing on her vanity and the era's prudish sensibilities. The satire targets women prioritizing appearance over public health during a genuine contagion threat. **"The Sportive Monkey and the Sleepy Toucan"** is a sequential animal comic strip showing a monkey and toucan engaged in acrobatic play on a tree branch—likely simple visual humor without political content. **"Practically Enforced"** depicts a teacher, Miss Swallow, using practical demonstration (dividing a peach) to teach distracted schoolchildren basic subtraction—humorous commentary on pedagogical methods and student attention spans. The final line ("provide for idiots and sluggards") uses period dialect as a punchline.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE'S ANNUAL. A DILEMMA. “ Now, doctor,” said the maiden as she smiled up in his face, “I'd let you vaccinate me, but I cannot find a place; I cannot bear that horrid scar upon my arm, you know; Can't you suggest some other way, so that it will not show?” ERY recently a rumor in a western city rose ‘About a dire contagion—one of beauty's fiercest foes, ‘The very name of small-pox sent a shudder through the air And kept the doctors busy vaccinating all the fair. The good old doctor took one look and then he blushed and smiled And said, * Hum—ha; in your case it's difficult, my child, You want it where it won't be seen,” and then he grinned full wide; “In that case you will have to put the virus down inside.” But the belle of all the city met with good old Doctor Brown At the governor's reception that was given in the town, Robed in a gown décolleté, the magnet of all eyes, ‘That, like a modern novel, left but little to surmise. THE SPORTIVE MONKEY AND THE SLEEPY TOUCAN. 1, Tite Monk—"' If that isn’t a toboggan- , I'm a turtle?” 4. —"'Once more for a record!” PRACTICALLY ENFORCED. Miss Swallow had been all the morning ex- plaining by means of various examples the process of subtraction; but in spite of her faithful endeavor to make the matter under- stood by the fourteen distended little brains before her, one point remained hopelessly dark. “My dear children,” finally exclaimed the worthy Miss Swallow, in that full contralto which never failed to make itself heard in the Sunday choir, “it is clear as water. Georgie, pay attention! If I take five out of five, what will remain?” Georgie stared blankly at the questioner, and dared not answer. The rest of the class were hopelessly entangled, and a few attempt- ed to escape the questioner by falling asleep. Another teacher might have lost patience; not so Miss Swallow. She glanced at her watch, and finding it near dinner-time, opened her satchel and took therefrom a peach— large, luscious, tempting. That excellent AN AMAZONIAN TRAGEDY. 7. THE Touvcan—" That'll do; I ain't no gymnasium.” 6. ——" Berr-r-rrgh—wow!” lady was right. sThe idiotic expression dis- appeared from the faces in front of her, and the eyes sparkled. Mouths were opened ex- pectantly; a little tongue smacked. Miss Swallow was paring the peach. When she had finished it, she proceeded with meas- ured solemnity, “Here I have a peach. I will divide it into five parts.” She did so. “Now, I take one;" and she ate it. and the second followed the first. ” the children looked anxious. “Four; ” some of them rose impatiently. “ Five; ah-h! What is left?” “The stone,” sighed a disappointed, mourn- ful chorus. Me Gem, There is always some one found to provide for idiots and sluggards. De man w'ose bruddah was hung nebbah fawgits hit. comicbooks.com