Judge — 1891 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

FUNNY THINGS FROM JUDGE. STREPHONA. 1am sure you mean it kindly When you warn me to beware Of the laughing loves and graces Lurking each within its lair, Hidden underneath the meshes Of Strephona’s bronze-gold hair. I, who held her—fan last evening, Light not note so well as you that within her softest glances me sly mischief lies perdu, the little spark of lightning Sleeping in a drop of dew. And just when her lips are parted In some word of soft intent, He who bows to catch the whisper May not care much what she meant, So he sees the dancing shadow As you say, a man half blinded Could not choose but see her face Has a hundred roguish beauties In its pink, be-dimpled space— ‘That her eyes are dark and daring, ‘Though her lashes interlace. One is not of mind to judge her Who has held her fan, say ; Though, I grant you, itis likely She is using me in pl Breaking heart and hope Just to pass an idle day Yet, my thoughtful friend and mentor, T'shall venture to imply That you need not, right at present, Have for me a troubled sigh, For if sweet Strephona’s jesting, In her chin’s rift deeply pent. Tassure you, so am I, UNCURBED ANXIETY. Mrs. Desmonp (af a Washington dinner)—"' Ask Mr. Hop Bung what he will have, Collins.” (Collins whispers to the under-secretary of the Chinese legation.) Tue uNDER-SECRETARY—" What timee they hittee th’ pipe, THE VEREKERS AT AN AUCTION. Mrs, Vereker took her husband to an auction sale a few days ago. Poor V. went along like a sheep led to the slaughter, but he had no redress. Mrs. Vereker bid on quite a number of things she didn’t want, just for fun, and ran them up so close to purchasing price that the marrow froze in Vereker’s bones. Finally she concluded that she wouldn’t wait, as there was only one article she really wanted—a carpet—and it was low down on the list. She instructed Vereker to purchase it, authorizing him to run the bid- ding up to one dollar thirty-five a yard, and she took her departure. That is to say, she started to go, but meeting a friend near the door, she stopped for ten minutes’ gossip, and the re- sult was she was still wedged in the crowd near the door when the carpet was put up at seventy- five cents. “ Eighty !" shouted Vereker. “ Eighty- five!" shouted Mrs. Vereker, who had forgotten all about her husband, and had a single eye on the carpet. “Ninety !" said Vereker. “ Ninety- five!" came from his spouse. “A dollar!" said the husband, “A dollar and a quarter!" said the wife, determined to clinch the bargain, as she seemed to have but one opponent. “A dollar thirty-five !" said Mr. Vereker, determinedly. “A dollar and a half!" said the lady, desperately. Mr. Vereker now bécame silent, as his limit had been passed, and the carpet was knocked down to Mrs. Vereker. “What name? if you please,” said the auctioneer, When Mrs. V. gave her name and stepped up to pay her deposit, there was quite a little circus, and the spectators were tickled to death at the badinage that passed be- tween the worthy couple. Mrs. Vereker declares she will never take her husband to an auction sale again, and he, though he cannot just see where he was to blame in the matter, says he hopes she won't. NOT ENTIRELY CLEANED OUT. Boston FATHER—"* This can't be my son !” His son (from the Nebraska sheep-ranch)—"' Yes it can, dad ; and he's got something left, too, Most of the fellows lost everything they had.” comicbooks.com