Judge, 1891 · page 52 of 69
Judge — 1891 — page 52: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains four separate humorous sketches typical of late-19th-century satirical magazine content: **"The Wishing Bone"**: A romantic poem about two young people breaking a wishbone together, each secretly wishing to declare their love—which they then discover they share. It's sentimental humor playing on courtship conventions. **"An Extremely Pleasant Lecture"**: A father visits his son at college and dismissively compares modern actresses to the famous Fanny Elssler (a renowned 19th-century dancer), suggesting old things were better—poking fun at nostalgic older generations. **"The Return from the Western Ranch"**: A nouveau-riche father corrects his sentimental wife's greeting of their son, implying the boy's "success" in the West is actually just the father's invested capital working—satire on frontier economics and parental investment. **"Rebuked Cheek"**: An aristocrat (Lord Dentwater) offers congratulations on a daughter's engagement; the businessman father immediately redirects him toward business, suggesting the nobleman should work rather than live on status—class commentary on changing economic power. All rely on period-specific social assumptions about courtship, class, and commerce.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
FUNNY THINGS FROM JUDGE. HE WISHING BONE. I stood with Kit, ‘The roguish chit, Beneath the lamplight in the hall, ‘The feast was o'er— The opened door Tavited us unto the ball, She dropped her head And softly said : *I took this bore from off my dish ; Will you join me ‘And break to see Which of us two will have the wish?” Her blushes came, And mine the same, ‘The while I wish and fates invoke ‘That I may dare Some day declare My love—The bone it bent and broke. L culprit stand With bone in hand— The fragile thing is now undone. And pretty Kit, The roguish chit, She softly said, ‘* Your wish is won.” “Ah! pretty maid, Thm sore afraid I'll have to tell my wish to you, I wished that I Might bye and bye Declare my love as lovers do.” rhe eee ee Sele Bee) * And I wished just the same thing too.” M.S. KELL Summerbreeze's daughter had a call the other evening from her beau, and after talking about pa’s chickens and various other things, she exclaimed, ‘Charley, you ought to shave off your eyebrows!” Charley had always thought his eyebrows were no damage to his good looks, so he asked, “What's the matter with em? Don’t they suit you?” “Oh, nothing,” she said, sweetly: “but if you cut them off, it would give vour mus- AN EXTREMELY PLEASANT LECTURE. ‘THE GOVERNOR (in Tom's room at college)—"* Who is that, my boy?” ‘Tom (who thinks he is in for it}—"* That’s—er—ahem "—— THE GoverNor—"* Oh, never mind the name. You ought to have seen Fanny Ellsler, as I remember her. These new ones don't amount to much.” THE RETURN FROM THE WESTERN RANCH. Boston MoTHER—"* Me d-e-e-ar boy !” Boston FATHER (who has been putting up the capital)—* Mannah, you're approaching the truth.” tache so much more prominence, you know.” Charley vows he'll raise an imperial on his ear. To see your best girl going to the opera with another fellow is a good omen. It signifies that you will not have to foot the bill, however much you want to foot your rival. REBUKED CHEEK. Lorp Dextwater—"'I have called, sir, to offer my congratulations. I have consented to your daughter.” Mr. McMias (@ man of business)—" What'll you take a year to run my natural gas wells?” comicbooks.com