Judge, 1891 · page 41 of 69
Judge — 1891 — page 41: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects four brief satirical jokes typical of late 19th-century American humor: **"Fatal Previousness"**: A divorced woman seeks stage work, but a theater manager jokes she should have saved her divorce announcement for publicity with her first theatrical season—satirizing both theatrical shamelessness and the scandal of divorce. **Spitting joke**: A woman complains about floor-spitting on public transit; the conductor permits it anywhere—mocking the filthy conditions of urban streetcars and indifferent public service. **"An Inappropriate Substitute"**: A man offers to substitute for his ill sister at a funeral organ—the dark joke being his complete unsuitability (the implication: he'll botch it badly). **"It Made Him Thirsty"** and **"At Shogmarthe Castle"**: Rural/dialect humor and fish-out-of-water comedy about an American bride in an English castle, suggesting spelling-bees as entertainment to English aristocrats. These represent Judge's formula: social observation mixed with wordplay and class-based humor aimed at educated urban readers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
FUNNY THINGS FROM JUDGE. FATAL PREVIOUSNESS. THEATRICAL ASPIRANT—"' I've been an amateur for some time, and now that I've got a divorce, I want to go on the regular stage.”" MANAGER—"'I'm afraid you've made a mistake, madam, You shouki have saved the divorce to bill with your first season.” “Conductor, is it permitted for persons to spit on the floor?” angrily demanded a female passenger on a Third Avenue car. “Yes, ma'am,” gently responded the meek official ; “spit where you like, ma'am” AN INAPPROPRIATE SUBSTITUTE. THe FUNERAL DIRECTOR—"* Well, sir?” Mr. THoLP— My sister promised to play the parlor organ for the choir, pat she’s taken ill, and I thought I'd come ‘round in her place."* IT MADE HIM THIRSTY. Wa-al, I swow ! This must be an all-fired thirsty taown, Guess T'll go in an’ git a dipper o° cider out o' that pool. “Do girls like to kiss?” said Smithers, “Some do,” replied Bouncer. “How do you know?" “Why, I have it from their own lips.” AT SHOGMARTHE CASTLE. Lorp SHOGMARTHE (who has brought home an American wife)—"' Lwant to show the tenantry a little attention in the way of a celebration, my dear. What would you suggest ?” Lapy SHOGMARTHE (tho has never been a metropolitan)—"* How does a spelling-bee strike you, Hector ?” comicbooks.com