Judge — September 12, 1891 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

IN A BAD FIX. ‘. syou don’t seem to have any barometer about the house. Haven't you always had one?” “Yes; but pa got cured of his rheumatism last fall, and since then we haven't known any more about the weather than the signal-service bureau.” TOO MUCH OF .A.GOOD THING. H{!S bead like some great wind-mill whirls, Engaged to fourteen summer girls. A sudden thought his cheek inflames— He can’t remember all their names. A GAY APPENDAGE. Mrs, Gummey (reading) —""A man in Indiana saw a brown rat with a bright red tail the other day. What do you think of that?” Gummey—"That was an animal with delirium trimmin’s.” ACCOMMODATING Rev. Mr. Toxey (finishing his sermon) —"' I'm glad it's done! I feel as if my brain had been in a regular — SOME POSSIBLE TITLES OF FUTURE BOOKS. ++ ANECDOTES of Mine that Most Pleased the Prince of Wales and His Friends When I Was in London,” by Colonel Thomas P. Ochiltree. “The Chewing-gum of the Future,” by a recent Vassar-college graduate. “How I Shall Bring All the Planets into Communication with Each Other,” by Thomas A. Edison. “Corns That I Never Allow Any One to Tread Upon,” by Gail Hamilton, “Why I Stay Abroad Most of the Time,” by James Gordon Bennett. “Why I Prefer Europe for Residential Purposes,” by Joseph Pulitzer. “My Recreations: The Only Authentic Account,” by Jack the Ripper. “The United States,” by an English girl who traveled in them over four weeks, This book is intended to be a reply, at least in part, to Dickens’s “American Notes,” Matthew Arnold’s strictures on Uncle Sam's dominions, and to other Englishmen who have not found much to relish in Yankeeland. “Peculiar Folks and Why I Am One of Them,” by Joaquin Miller, the Oakland (Cal.) hermit, formerly a great lion in London literary circles. Why I Like Myself Better than Anybody Else,” by Ward Mcallister. “How To Be a Successful Acrobat and Word-thrower in the Pulpit,” by T. De Witt Talmage. LEON MEAD, SEEMS REASONABLE, Spatts—" Which is correct—‘ politics is’ or ‘politics are'?” Bloobumper —"In a country with so much. politics as this I think the word should be recognized as a plural.” ANOTHER FORM, . sTHAT goes without saying,” said Miss Bleecker in the course of a conversation, . “Yes,” replied Miss Backbay of Boston; “it perambulates withcut articulation.” Monsieur Quipinet —'* Ze duel ! Monsteuk Paxpevenwe fingaire caught in ze hamma HIS FEELINGS. ANOTHER OF THOSE FRENCH DUELS. Res cet ovaire?” Aha, my Alphonse, | am r-r-revainged! Monsieur le count, he's ¢ of hees peestol and it out he cannot get.” NATURE VS. ART. . STHE Venus of Milo is not nat- ure; she is art.” “That is so. Art leaves some- thing to the imagination, If the Venus had been natural she would have had arms,” TAXES. A TAX is really something which All should complaisantly endure. It hardly presses on the rich; It presses hardly on the poor. c. ». FASHIONABLE HUMILITY. Matd—" Which dress and hat will my lady wear?” Mistress —* My best, Marie, 1 am going out with the society to visit the poor in the neighborhood.” * #) = METHOD OF EXTRACTING TEETH AMONG THE UNGANJIJI. For molars, a fall of eleven feet ; for bicuspids, five feet ; for canines, four feet ; for incisors, three feet. comicbooks.com