Judge — September 12, 1891 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TOO DEMONSTRATIVE AFFECTION, Guy (bringing his friend to visit him at his country residence) —""\ tell you, Briggs, old fellow, the country is the place to raise children. “Hooray! How are my youngsters to-day ?* ‘There are my three in front of the house, playing. See them come romping, full of life, to meet me.” HUM OF THE COURT. THEY SWEAR in Kansas by the beard of Mr. Peffer. GEORGE JONES, immediately on his arrival over there—" This is all very well, but there must be a third party and reform.” AN ABLE LADY is Mrs. I. Beecher Hooker, and she has just cele- brated her golden wedding with a gentleman whose name we have for- gotten, A RETURN of the grip has been predicted, and some persons are mean enough to say they think the Democracy will prevail in 1892. But the latter prevaricate. “Oh, we're having jolly fun makiog mud pies !" FRANCES WILLARD says tight waists kill more than whisky does, and we certainly know that they are more entitled to be judged as bad habits. ‘A BRIDE and groom in Colorado fell two miles with a balloon and were only slightly injured. These fallings-out are shocking during the earlier half of the honeymoon, [* IS THOUGHT best not to teach the alphabet to the young king of Spain, he is so deli- cate; and really if he never learns to read he will be spared a deal of mortification. EOPLE may talk of the incapacity and sluggishness of the black man, but we notice that there is a deficiency of two million dollars in the tax budget of Hayti for the current fiscal year. E JUDGE from the violent quarrels at- tending the effort for re- form in the dress of wom- an that the garment finally selected will be a pair of epaulets and a gun. Lucius PRICE, a pro- hibitionist of Genoa, Mo., stabbed a saloon- keeper to death with a pitchfork. This moral re- former is so enthusiastic as to be really intemper- ate, we think. A HANGING in land which took off the man’s head is offered as an argument against capital punishment; but we look upon it rather as ,a demand for experienced and reliable hangmen. A GREAT Japanese wrestler, whose muscle stood out like a whipstock, has died of consumption, as did John C. Heenan and other men famous for strength. Nomen live so long as those who attend strictly to business and let their health take care of itself. A CIGAR-DEALER in Brooklyn lost his wife by clopement. ‘Then he married a young woman, and she first left him and then died. ‘Then his first wife returned and he married her again, Then he went to Far Rocka- way for a swim, and presently his body drifted ashore, face up and with arms calmly folded across the breast. Life. Also death. AN HOUR BEFORE SUPPER. Mr. CLemixsiaw (taking pity)—“ May I have the pleasure of looking at your card, Miss Parshley ?” Miss Parsi Thaven't had a sight at one, but I suppose they've got tutti-frutti on the bill. I wish you'd get me a plate of it, and if nobody is looking heap it pretty well up.” LADY kissed Governor Pattison and thereby won a bet. The JuDGE would like to wager a couple of apples that no lady can kiss our David without SEARCHING FOR TALENT. _Epitor "Wester Love at Home" (to his som, who is going east) Bill Haight was tellin’ me about a feller nam De Frew or De Pew, or previously binding him, and that wouldn't be fair. somethin’ like that, in New York, who's comin't'th front. While youre W/E ARE SHOCKED and indignant to learn that in a Sight been there, look him up an’ see what he'll tax us for an agate column once a week Mormon and a Protestant elder in Mississippi the latter was whipped. How ‘on * How to make home happy. long will this government look with serenity on the atrocities of Mormonism? comicbooks.com