Judge — July 18, 1891 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE A STRANGE HAPPENING. 64] READ to-day of a very singular event which happened in Ohio,” observed Bloobumper. “ What was it?” asked his wife. “A small boy found a stick of dynamite, such as used for blasting purposes, and" — “Oh, yes; know. The usual story.” “ What usual story?” “Why, the boy played with it, and finally hit it with a brick and blew himself to fragments, and the force of the concussion shook three or four houses to the ground.” “You are wrong, my dear. What really happened was much more strange than that.” “Indeed! What was it?” “Somebody took it from him before any harm was done.” A SAMSONIAN ECONOMIST. Assistant editor —*What shall I say about that Tammany man who committed suicide yesterday?” Editor-in-chief (Tammariyite) —" Say that he was a model official, and has saved the city many thousands of dollars.” Assistant editor —" That isn't so. His books were wrong.” Editor-in-chief —* But you forget the cost of the criminal prosecution.” NOT TO BE DAUD D. JeALOUS HUSBAND —“* Before we go to de Twigg'’s dance I want to warn you that I do not like your flirting habits.”” Sue (with feminine readiness) —" Don't you? Tastes will differ. Some people do!" THE SEASON FOR COWARDICE, R makes us timid, I think,” said Waggles. Heat is ener- vating “T guess you're right,” returned Hobbs. “I know I'm afraid even of oysters in summer.” = } . fTABLE ATHLETICS. AT THE NEW EMIGRANT DEPOT. OLp Hovtiitan —" And it’s an athletic club yure afther wantin’ to join, Pat —* Phat place is that beyant?” isin? ec om EE taser ‘ Attendant —" New ” Youxc ; Yis, sor; for company and exercise. Attendani ‘ew Jersey. OLp Houtttan —" Company and exercise, indade? _Jist take one of me “*Begobs! I kim on the wrong ship. 1 wanted to come till shpare hods on yure shoulder tu-morrow marnin’, an’ OF bring yez to a job where yez'll find plinty av both !* JOHNNY LEARNS SOMETHING. ++ PAPA, what is an immortal?” “One who never dies.” “Have we any immortals nowadays, papa? “Yes, Veritas, Pro Bono Publico and all men sentenced to death under the laws of New York are immortals.” DISAPPOINTMENT. VACATION days again are here ; T sit beside the murmuring mere, Or roam all day through wood and dell Accompanied by my charming Nell, And whispering nothings in her ear. Tow much she is to me, my dear !— And so I strive to have her near, So, prize much more than I can tell Vacation days. But ah, now are the days most drear, For yester-eve without a fear T asked her would she wed me—well, She said me nay—my spirits fell ; Tt was indeed a most severe Vacation daze. Please, Mr. Peter, can I come in?” aiden canes Who are you 7" FORCE OF HABIT. A trustee of the Metropolitan museum : Ee - Sailor (formerly brakeman on railroad A PAIR OF THEM. Pever—"* Are you aware what day this is?” on his first ocean trip to New York as the Furoteton (to hotel clerk) —" Gimme zer besht Spirit —"* Sunday, your reverence. he.” PaTeR— We are not open on Sundays, Good. Steamer enters the dock)—" America —all day, sir.” out!" ery, sit; I'm full.” . | comicbooks.com