Judge — July 18, 1891 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

IT IS easier to form a new ideal than to re-form an The cage that means security to the pet canary is a prison to the eagle. A bitter loaf cast upon the waters gathers naught of sweetness in returning. There are plenty always ready to do any good provided it will bring some praise. ‘The misapprehension of a friend is more to be dreaded than the ill grace of an enemy. A direct and, earnest nature finds its tools blunted and turned astray by the equivocal. It is a Portuguese saying that those who always want to be con- sidered right are as a rule in the wrong. Accuse not fate of being an indifferent paymaster until thou hast become something more than an indifferent apprentice. The specific gravity which a solution of salts bears over fresh water may account for the burdensomeness of unshed teats. KATHRIN GROSJEAN. TWO LETTERS. MR, AUGUSTUS BARLOW TO MISS BIRDIE SMITH. AN-EYE TO ECONOMY. MY PEAREST:—Hope is lost, and Iam groping in the twilight of | Mr. Irstein (from St, Louis)—""I vants to get me a dhicket to Shpring- a ruined life. We hoped go wed in two short weeks. The parson Slt soca (crustily)—"" Which Springfield — Massachusetts, linois, (who is a personal friend of Missouhar Ongee mine) would do the job for noth- Me, IsTEIN (warily) —* Vich is dhe scheapest?” ing, but I have not enough money to stand a dinner for the ushers. My fortune is Tost! Strathmore of Strath- more & Gardener, bankers, was my uncle, and with him my fortune was invested. You may remember that the firm, with all the cash, skipped to Canada. My uncle was captured on the border and died heart-broken (at being caught). Gardener kept the funds, and though I wrote to him on my knees (that is, I knelt while writing to him), beseeching the return of only a few hundred thousand, he never replied; and last week he died, and he took hope with him. (He will probably need it all whither he has gone.) I am going to work at ten dollars per week. Will your love overtop your pride and permit you to wait until I have earned another fortune? ; Let me know at once, and behold in me the incarnation of despair. Aucustus. MISS BIRDIE SMITH TO MR, AUGUSTUS BARLOW, My Gus :—Hope is found. I've found it, and no questions asked. Mr. Gardener was my uncle, Iam his heiress. I have your fortune and several other people's beside. There need be no delay. I am tired of the name of Smith, Come at once to Brevik. AN ADROIT PRETENDER. She—" It's very strange, if she is of such noble descent, that nobody knows who her great- great-grandfather was.” He —"She explains that by claiming descent from the Man with the Iron Mask.” HIS VACATION. BEYOND HIS STRENGTH. ‘““SS+Ssicg “CATSKILL Mountatns, New York, July, ‘91. x ** Dear friend :—I'm enjoying myself immensely. 1 Swayback (to importunate beg- am stopping at a first-class hotel, taking plenty of exer- gar) —"‘ Leave the house, sir! cise, and always have something to occupy my time, Beggar —“Cenainly. 1 would besides the lovely ‘people’ that: Lain sssopstice not think of attempting to carry it off with the heavy moftgage it has on it.” A CLINCHER. ONES was greatly annoyed by a beggar who had followed him for some distanc “Only a nickel, sir. I haven't had a mouthful since yesterday.” “What's the use, my good fellow?” snapped out Jones, angered into speech, “ You're sure to be hun- A COLD WAVE. gry again to-morrow.” CALLED BACK. St. Peter (to spirit) —" How is this? I've got it down that you left the earth two days ago. Where have you been since then?” Spirit —“ My wife called me back to build a fire in the kitchen stove.” 4 NATURAL CONJECTURE. Aunt Clara — Cenrgie, God has brought a little baby to our house.” Georgie —" Honest, Aun. Clara?” Aunt Clara —" Yes; you ¢., come and see it.” Georgie —" | suppose God got. ired of it and left it on the front Haroun Ferncirr —"' Will you kindly oblige me with two seats for me steps, like the man T read about, didn. he?” dod me treasurer?” comicbooks.com