Judge — July 18, 1891 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

236 HUM OF THE COURT. THE INVENTOR of a new air- ship—If at first you don’t succeed, fly, fly again. HERE IS one secret that a woman al- Ee: ways keeps. We refer to the year e OA ZN she was born in. E gts; R. MILLS is writing a book on the MBI-7 tariff, and will, of course, have it pro- 7 y tected by copyright as far as. he possibly can, AT THE SEA-SHORE the expert is a fool and the fool is a wise man, be- cause the latter never gets beyond his depth. HE DIVIDED SKIRT is on its last— that is to say, the skirt of that kind has nothing whatever to contribute to its support. ‘THE WOMEN of Lexington, Ky., have an anti-slang society, and as they can’t use hardware in language their suf- ferings are intense. saunusuke: st NUSUAL. Sanp-patHER No. 1 (to No, 2)—"* What an unusual girl Miss Dashington is! Always doing something original. She has actually been in the surf.” B. H. as the kind of man who says firmly, “I won't run— until I am nominated.” S¢GHE TOOK the audience by storm,” says a theatrical notice. If she was handsome and fascinating she took them, rather, by sunshine. There is no thunder and lightning about that kind of woman until she gets home. WE SHALL get a superior article of justice now that our federal appeal judges appear in gowns; but it would seem better if they were to wear a bib and a couple of ear- rings. Unhappy thought—Perhaps these would enable them to deal more gently with the earring. THE EDITOR of the Saratogian chides the Mail and Express for printing old matter. He is quite confident that he read some of Brother Shepard's daily texts as much as twenty years ago. We judge, however, that he didn't read them sufficiently to fatigue himself. RANK LAWLER advocates spelling reform, and will start a Chicago paper in which all words will be spelled with the fewest possible letters. We imagine that the circu- lation of the paper will necessarily be reported by the same method, though the expenses of it will doubtless be given in the longest and most melancholy arithmetic. A PROMINENT PERSONAGE. JAWKINS—"' Who is that man yonder who goes along with his nose in the air?” Iocc—'*'Sh! He's a mighty important personage. His picture and biography are in all the pape JAWKINS —" What has he done?” Hocc —** He's the man who was cured of catarrh,” THE QUEEN named the little great-granddaughter Lady “Alexandra Victoria Duff; but she will be known as Plum, for short. 64D HUTCH” says he isn’t doing much business, but is having “‘a rattling good time.” We believe it. In fact, we can almost hear the rattle. RAL YOUNG M have shot their sweethearts out of jealousy lately, but we suppose their condition will not be entirely ameliorated until they are hanged. HE PEOPLE of England on the recently departed gambling excitement, when the prince gets his crown—"Hush! It’s a dirty bird that doesn’t feather his own nes A WOMAN writes in the Bvening Sun that there is only one kind of match that is worth using. She doesn’t give the name it goes by, but it must be made in heaven. ETTER A HALF place on the beach in front of a spread parasol the points of whose ribs are in the sand than to dwell with a brawling woman in a wide house. LEARNINGHIIG\ DADE aUaeeee FISH nearly pulled Grover Cleveland out of his boat. ; Wixy—"'T saved up five pennies yesterday.” “Never mind,” said the fish, philosophically, “He will Winn (the broker) —"" Good, my son. ‘ i ke ‘dmill some more and I'll have t : Livtte Cnai Yes; and then I lent it to the man at the candy-store.” work that treadmi ore an ave him yet. vint —"" Did you get any security” RONSON HOWARD says he will write only American Lisle iri cirri ec A i Wins —*' What did you do with it?” plays hereafter. We are obliged, therefore, to look upon Lirtte CHaxtie—" I got hungry in the afternoon and hypot’ecated it.” . | comicbooks.com